Constantly changing my mind.

Life:
1) Primary and Highschool
2) University/College
3) Job
4) Marriage
5) Children
6) Grandchildren
7) Retire
8) Die

Sounds about right.

Not for me.

I am not going to live that life. Unless it just happens.

To show you what I mean, let me show you a scenario between two average people.

Person 1: What do you want to do when you are older?
Person 2: I think I want to be an accountant. I have also been looking at other aspects of business as well. How about you?
Person 1: I am not sure what I want to do, but I like history a lot... but I don't think I can make a career out of that. Maybe I'll be a lawyer or something.

That is an average scenario between two people discussing their futures... correct?

Now. Lets add me into this conversation.

Person 1: Sarah, what do you want to do when you are older?
Me: What do you mean?
Person 1: Like what do you want to be.
Me: Oh. I am not sure. I am going to live. Probably continue being a human or something. Go for walks. Hopefully find someone to share my life with. Maybe have some kids or something.
Person 1: Lol no, what job?
Me: Why would I want a job?
Person 2: You NEED a job to live.
Me: You need money to live in this society, yes. But I don't need a job. I don't even need money if I really try.
Person 1+Person 2: Uh..
Me: Let's put it this way. I am not going to worry about money. It may seem naive and stupid, but if I am meant to have money, things will work out in my favour in the end. If not, then I will still survive. I need money to pay things like rent and for food, but realistically you do not need money. Sure, I will accept money and use money and buy things. If I have a job, well that is how I get money. But if my house were to burn down, it wouldn't even matter that much. Material possessions are luxuries. Sure, I may be a little sad at first, but nothing beats what I am going to do.
Person 1: Thats... cool. So what are you going to do....?
Me: I am going to change societies' perspectives on life.
Person 2: How the heck to you expect to do that?
Me: Just watch.

Yes. My name is Sarah Sceviour and I am not striving for a career.

I wanted to be a Psychologist for the longest time, as you know. But I changed my mind because I really started thinking and realized... I can't imagine me being a psychologist. I like Psychology, but I do not want to be a psychologist.
The main reason I wanted to be a psychologist was because I wanted to help people. I wanted to help people understand themselves. I wanted to make people feel happy. All because thats what my Psychologist when I was 11/12 did.

Then I wanted to be a teacher, for about 2 months. This was because I have had amazing teachers and wanted to do what they do. I want to teach. I still want to teach. But not in the classroom setting. My thoughts and ideas are the type of thing that will get me fired from a teaching job. Ontario employees cannot think the way I do.

But I am going to go to university. I am going because I want to learn. I am not going to university to get a job.

The purpose of school.. is to learn. If the ONLY REASON you are learning, is to get a job, then you are completely misunderstanding the purpose of education and you should probably drop out. But if you are also going to university for YOURSELF then go ahead. But if you are going because you "have to" have a job and you "have to" conform to society and you "have to" listen to your parents, drop the fuck out.

You completely are misunderstanding everything. Drop out and go eat a chocolate bar. You will feel much better. Actually in the long run broccoli is better... but thats besides the point. Unless material possessions are everything to you, ( in this case stay in school because you are going to need to earn a lot of money to buy the shit you want) drop out.

 So... if I am not striving for a career, what am I going to do?

Not exactly sure. I will find out. I might write a book. I might start a blog. I might make vlogs for youtube. Of what? My ideas.

So... if I am going to university... what am I studying?

Double major in Philosophy and Sociology. Emphasis on Philosophy. I need to get my Philosophical views out there. They NEED to be heard. Whether I create a riot and people hate me, or people listen to me and decide to come along with my on my journey to change the world, I will be happy.

I need to be heard.

Its not even a yes or no... I will be heard.

I will learn in university, so I know more. I may complete a PhD in Philosophy, I may not. But I don't need a degree to talk and scream my opinions at the world.

As I said, I am going to school to learn.

Also, to clarify. I am not striving for a career, but if one happens, hey, thats cool. If suddenly I am desperate for money, sure I'll go job hunting. But I think that somehow, I will get money.

That is the only part of what I want to do that seems naive and stupid. I may be broke or in debt. Sure, that isn't necessarily a good thing, but I would rather using my VALUABLE TIME to do something AMAZING and be broke, then waste my time at a suck-ass job and have money.

I can get a PhD in Philosophy and hope that a university hires me to think. Yes, that is an occupation. Rare, but existent.

Maybe I'll get into politics or something. Who knows. Thats why I am going to university, to learn about my possibilities.

Maybe there is still a career out there for me. But for now, I am self-employed.

Except for my two part-time jobs I currently have. But that is because I choose to have them. Besides, I do HALF of my "THINKING" there. (Have you seen the Big Bang Theory where Sheldon gets a job at the cheesecake factory to think while he does menial tasks... that is like me, except I also like the money) (Yes I know I just contradicted myself).

That is enough for now.

Quote: Don't waste time. Time is precious and you never know how much of it you have. Use every second to your advantage. - Sarah Sceviour