Use logic and don't be hopeful (not always)

I have no hope, dreams or faith.

I am not depressed, boring or pessimistic.

I have logic, goals and plans.

I am not happy, exciting or optimistic.

I am not average.

I am realistic.

Being realistic means having no hopes, dreams or faith. It means making what would be a dream, a goal with steps, action and achievement.

Hopes versus goals is what makes the successful person different from the optimistic. 

I am an atheist, therefore I don't pray. But I ask, even the most foolish of theist to consider instead of praying, or I'm addition to praying, to take real actions.

You must do things to get things.

Praying, hoping and wishing does nothing.

The only reason one should wish is in hopes of achieving something highly unlikely, like getting Justin Bieber to take you to prom. Although you could take actual steps to get that to happen as well. 

During my run I was thinking about "When an acceptable time to be hopeful is". I was thinking maybe when you can't do much, or you have run out of steps you can take. For example, in the hospital with cancer. Maybe it would help to be somewhat optimistic at the end of the strings of your life.

I was also thinking about maybe when you are going for a job. You pick out a good outfit, give your best interview and prepare a lot. After the interview is over all you can do is wait. Should you hope you get the job? Maybe. But would it be better to be optimistic about the job and not get the job, or to not be optimistic and to not get the job?

I just think if you use logic by thinking it is possible you don't get the job, to prepare for the worst outcome. I mean you don't look outside and see little drops rain and then think "Nope, I don't need this umbrella" when the weather could turn extremely bad. Or at least you shouldn't.

Answers should follow along with the individual's logic. It just makes sense not to be optimistic over a result that could be negative.

Maybe having hope at certain points in life is okay, but not all of the time. You can't just sit around and wait for something to happen, you have to get up and take steps, create goals and make it happen.

Dreams are the goals of the weak man.

On a separate note, I have created a facebook page for my blog! https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Caffeinated-Philosophy-Experiment/281676515307653

Please like it! I hope to build up to at least 100 people to be able to have conversations about the ideas expressed in my blog posts. I want to become more accessible and communicative with my readers.

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The struggle between reality and creativity

Lately I've been thinking about how my beliefs and thoughts are quite rational, logical and real. Quite often my beliefs correlate with either/or:

A) Doubt/Having no Clarity

B) Reality

I consider myself to be a creative person. I like writing, coming up with ideas, I love comedy and art. I would never consider myself to be realistic. Recently I noticed that I actually am realistic.

I'd say this time last yearish I wasn't realistic. By the end of August last year, I decided I didn't want a job, I didn't want to ever have to work or do anything. I soon justified that with wanting to go into politics or being a teacher, because those are actual jobs I'd want, but I just didn't want to do the pointless work towards them (school, elections, studying, etc).

I understand that to get to where you want to, you have to follow society. I can't be a complete non-conformist, nevertheless, I still think I am.

I have figured out that although life itself has no meaning, that society has given life meaning, in very VERY stupid ways. But yet, I adhere to some of these stupid ways because I like them. I keep being a non-conformist and a nihilist by only adhering to the things I like... which I like because I like them, not because society told me to like them.

Back to my point. I am an atheist because I like reality. I don't believe in myths, I like history, myths in history are interesting, I just think all of the theism in these myths are bologna. I consider most religious texts to be stories, fictional, possibly myths, containing bits of truth written from that point in time. Yet, I do not know there is a god, and so I believe that.

I guess it is not necessarily a struggle between reality and creativity. It's just that since creativity is generally associated with being more flexible and go with the flowy, while I am not that. I am realistic about many things.

I think they are sort of two different things. Creativity is fine as long as it is art or ideas. As soon as you put creativity into things like math and history, you run into trouble. You need reality to balance out the creativity. Reality and creativity need to collaborate. Sure, draw a picture of a dog with a horse head, but don't write a non-fiction book about it. Go ahead, write a history book, but don't get creative, history is done, history is known. That is called historical fiction.

I don't know. I just think being realistic can be also very depressing, which is why people like to be creative. I want to run for city counsellor at a young age, and it is highly unlikely that I will get the position. Many people will say "Don't think that way, because then you won't achieve anything!". I am being realistic. There is a chance, certainly there is. Anything is possible. Literally anything can happen. It is just unlikely. I don't think anything is impossible or certain. That's why I am a skeptic.

Skepticism is also associated with being more depressive and negative. But you know what? That is the reality. Question things. You must question things or else change doesn't happen. Some strong societal influences need to stop being positive and ignorant and need to get skeptical and question all good things and look for the good in bad things. That's the only time when being positive is okay. Looking for the upside in every bad thing, and the bad in the right.

This is why I am an (agnostic) atheist. I question everything. Well, not everything, just within realistic proportions. But I questioned the existence of god, rather than adhering to society's generalized belief there is a god, and I arrived at the answer that god probably doesn't exist, although since I am skeptic, I believe anything is possible, so I have to stick that little agnostic before atheist, even though I really want to be a complete atheist, I couldn't be a skeptic and an atheist, that just doesn't make sense.


Nice run-on sentence up there, eh?

I just realized how all of my beliefs sort of connect.
I am an agnostic atheist because I am a skeptic and I am a nihilist because I am a skeptic and non-conformist and I am a non-conformist because I am a skeptic and nihilist. Sort of. There are lots of reasons, it's just my beliefs instead of being scattered and unjustified are sorting themselves out without me even realizing it until now.

Weird.

I guess my point, since I have digressed so much in this single blog post, is reality and creativity should work together and support each other. Reality is important and creativity is important, and although they should "work together" they shouldn't be combined in the wrong context because that brings us to lies and things like the idea of god, which for this reason, society believes exists even though it doesn't.

Am I a pessimist or non-conformist? Part 2

It's not absolutely peril that you read "Am I a pessimist or non-conformist?" to understand this post, but it is a continuation.

I was talking about how I am a fairly negative person, generally. I don't consider myself a pessimist, it's just I try to make sure that the negatives in the good things get pointed out.

Yesterday, in the class I tutor in, a student was trying to tell me something and finally she found the words and said something along the lines of "You are a really positive person like oh everything is good just look at it this way".

I was just like whaaaaaaa, because I consider myself a negative person. But I guess that is just what is in my head, and that otherwise I seem positive.

In the class I tutor in, I try to be positive to make up for all of their negativity ex: "I don't want to do this" "This is stupid" "I'm being bullied" "I'm going to fail", etc.

I guess maybe I am more positive to them.

But I hate seeming like Miss. Perfect, because they know I get fairly good grades and that I try fairly hard on most things in school, so I went on to tell them how I think I am negative. They just kind of looked at me, so then I just mocked the one girl's face and they laughed. I find myself actually trying to prove myself to be not Miss. Perfect to them, and I tell them a lot of stories about me that are the type of things I put in my blog and don't talk about face-to-face with people, like my dad's death, my restraining order against my dad, my crying fits and panic attacks. Yesterday I told them how I was upset one day and just walked out of class. But I also did this to console this other girl who was telling us a similar story, and I wanted to comfort her and let her know that she's not alone. I also told her something someone told me, is that if you are fuming and upset and angry, that you should just walk out of class, cry, scream, do whatever you need to, and not let it bunch up.

I think I am negative, but I seem like I am positive, but I am really negative and positive. Aren't we all?

This reminds me of something else. One time one of my teachers told me that I am "sensitive", because we were talking about horoscopes and Scorpios and water signs are usually seen as sensitive. But I just flat out said no I'm not, but then she said again that she thinks I am, but after arguing back and forth for a bit she was kind of like "Okay maybe you're not".

So that day I thought about it some more "Am I sensitive?" I don't think "sensitive" is the first word that comes to mind when I think of myself. But it can be thought of in a few different ways, sensitive like when somebody says something to me, I react, or sensitive like I am intuitive with others' feelings. I think she meant the second one. But either way, I thought about it and I could see myself as sensitive.

I kind of felt bad that I just turned down the fact that I was. It is just one of those memories that I think is probably going to stick around for a long time.

But the thing was and still is, is that I don't like being known as sensitive. I don't want to be known as the nice, sensitive, optimist. I hate that. I used to thrive on that stuff, but now i just hate it.

But  don't want to be negative, mean and insensitive. I guess I am both.

I don't want to say deep down I am sensitive and positive, and on the surface that I have a negative shell, because I feel like to certain people I just show what I want to. I'm not going to be outright mean to anyone unless I think I need to be. But I am not going to go out of my way to help people either.

I just do whatever I want.

I am cynical, critical and skeptical, which is why I like having this negativity about me, because I do think that society and things should be questioned, and it helps to have a negative mind for that.

Are you a negative or a positive person?

Am I a pessimist or non-conformist?

I tend to look at the negatives and things and specifically find the negative things in people, events, causes, etc.

I don't think it is a bad thing. My mind is extremely twisted compared to society, though.

I don't think being sad, depressed, angry, pessimistic, negative, etc., is actually "wrong" at all.

Maybe I am not a pessimist. I generally don't expect the worst in the world, I don't expect the good either. I try to look at things rationally. I do look for the bad in good things, though. But I don't expect bad things to happen. I also don't believe everyone is inherently evil, but I also don't believe everyone is inherently good. I think some people are and some people aren't "evil" or "bad". Although this gets me into the philosophical discussion of "What is good? and what is bad" which I am not getting into right now.

I don't totally think I am the definition of a pessimist. But I definitely am not an optimist. I'm just a negative person, I suppose. Negative, not pessimistic. Maybe my viewpoint is just different from everyone else's, well I know it is.

I used to be an extremist optimist around grade 7-9, especially in grade 8. I remember having like three different smiley face necklaces, which I would wear. On this one website whyville.net, I used to go on, my avatar was always wearing something that was a smiley or said "be happy" or something like that. I celebrated random weird holidays like "mint chocolate day" and used to skip around school like an annoying destinations student. (Destinations was a program for grade 7-8 students I was in).

I don't know when that exactly ended, but sometime when I first got into high school, probably.

The more I look at it, the more I see I am not really a pessimist. I am more of just a non-conformist, and since the conformist thing to do is to be happy and be an optimist, I just try to do the opposite of that. I'd really like to be able to understand the psychology of a non-conformist, better. I always strive to do the opposite of the majority.

For example, you know that really light colour green that is really popular right now (like this), well I used to absolutely love that colour like 1-2 years ago. Now it is overused, and I hate it with a passion.

Maybe I just try to bail on society and conformity. I'm not sure. But for whatever reason, I just hate the thought of being the same as everyone else, which is why I have essentially isolated myself, became quite the individualist and egoist. I just try to express the fact that I am a single person, there is only one of me. I have always thought this, even when I was what I call an "extremist optimist". I always said "be yourself!". I also remember thinking to stop saying "Be yourself" because everyone always says that, and to say something different. So I guess I was sort of a non-conformist back then, too.

I'm just negative. It's funny because I love being a negative person, and you think that I'd be super serious (which I usually am) but I am obsessed with comedy at the same time. I just need to balance out my cynical thoughts with weird brain-killing comedy shows and comics.

I'm glad I wrote this post, because it actually helped me figure out that I am not a pessimist. I went in writing this blog post, to try to convince my readers I am. But now I don't think so. Just a negative non-conformist. Carpe diem?