Even I don't know what I am talking about here.

I'm not up in arms about anything and frankly, it's odd. Usually I have some major idea or thought to scream about on my blog but for the past few months there has been nothing super inspiring for me. Life is just depressing me, but in a good way.

I'm just sick of school and I'm done writing exhaustive blog posts complaining about it (for now). I'm sick of working at retail jobs that I feel overqualified for and can't find a job that is equivalent to my abilities and will challenge me.

I know saying that you're "sick and tired" about something is just a phrase, but for me it's all too true. I'm tired of fighting idiots about political and social topics. Not done, just tired of it. I'm bored of it.

I'm half dreading school because I know there is going to be a lot of readings I simply don't want to do but should do. I am really bad at reading things I don't want to read because I just zone out and observe the words. I could read 20 pages before realizing I haven't absorbed any of it.

I'm seriously ready to just become a typical teenager and be completely wasted every moment that isn't working time or school time. If it was legal to drink during class I totally would. I've written assignments for school while drinking and gotten 100% on them.

I have my marathon soon and I seriously need to train for it. I was going to go for a run today but the weather decided to increase by a LOT out of the blue and I know that my 30k run would soon become 7k with the temperature out there. I am actually just getting super tired just sitting here thinking about it.

I might go to a nearby city that actually has things to do, tomorrow, with Nick. But I also don't want to spend money and he doesn't either. I'm stuck in a rut. Maybe school will bring something out of me. Inspiration to write, friends to visit... just anything.

I need an inspirational moment. I really do. My life is good right now, for the most part, other than money/school and work (but then again, those three things screw everyone over) but I just want something to be excited for. Well, I'm excited to get married. But something that is more inspirational or... I don't know... just something. Getting married is different.

Nick and I describe ourselves as "life partners" and although there is a need and occurrence of surprising each other and whatnot, we are not each others' only other thing in the world. I need something outside of the relationship to bring into the relationship to be excited about. Getting married is just the next step to solidify to everyone else that we are actually serious. Marriage is a big deal, but it's not the biggest deal. I swear that half of getting married is about everyone else around us. It makes me want to use all of the money we want to use for getting married to go on a really nice vacation. Because really, who cares if they get a half-decent meal and a weird little trinket to take home with them to celebrate us? We are probably going to have a nice wedding anyways, but it would be so easy to just be officiated in a public park (cost would be like $200, probably) and then take everyone close out to dinner somewhere. That would be so much cheaper than finding a venue. Seriously, some of the more inexpensive venues we are looking at are around $4,500 not including food or $12,000 including food. It is ridiculous. Our budget will probably be about $7,000 (maybe, who knows, maybe less maybe more) which is honestly ridiculous.

We could have a $1,500 wedding and then go somewhere nice. It is really our own relationship.

I have no idea where I am going with any of this. Oh yeah. The lack of being "up in arms" about everything. Oh well. Hopefully something dumb will happen soon to make me angry to write a blog post.

Also, I have a wedding blog now: bridetubey.blogspot.com

Bored and Seeking Adventure

Bored and broke: The Student's guide to summer.

Yeah, really? Really life? I have all of this time on my hands and no extra spending money. I don't go back to school until September. I would take summer courses but, they cost $750 and I don't have that kind of money.

I am looking for a full-time job but this town has nothing. It is a college town. Everyone is looking for work. I had an interview on Monday and I was supposed to hear back yesterday. It sounded extremely promising: here's to hoping the guy is just lazy and hasn't called me back. I called him back today and left a message.

I live with my boyfriend and he is busier than I am. He just got a full-time job and he is working at his parents' over the summer as well. So I am a fucking apartment-girlfriend (not house-wife because this is an apartment and we are not married). 

I am bored. This is boring. I hate this. I love being here, but I need a job. Desperately. I need to fill my time. 

I was talking to a girl from my part-time job which is not giving me any new hours... (ugh), and she was just like "So what are you doing during your time? You sound like you're not doing anything?". After explaining my past day to her, waking up at 10am, watching TV and eating, going to the gym, coming back and watching more TV and eating more food until 5:15 when I worked... that's not what I want. 

I don't want this blog post to be me just complaining about being bored and broke, I am trying to work through it as I type to find a solution.

I have some hobbies, like writing, sewing, reading, and drawing that I could do. I have been doing them. I've been watching a lot of TV and my boyfriend got me playing Okami on his PS3. 

What do I want other than a job? Time. That makes no sense. I am bored, I want less time. But I want a full-time job and then time to take road trips. That would be nice. Realistically, I want more friends in North Bay. All I have is my boyfriend, essentially. I didn't make too many friends in university outside of my roommates and they've all gone home for the summer. My friends from high school are all back home for the summer too.

I am visiting my mom's this weekend until Wednesday, and as much as I am going to miss my boyfriend, I am going to be glad to see my friends and have some variety in my life. I'm craving an adventure. I am going to seek one out once I get there. Meet up with some friends, talk to my mom, visit my old high school. Get some perspective from other people on my life. 

So... it's time to stop being boring and start being adventurous, Sarah.

I will write 2 blog posts by Wednesday focusing on my adventures in the most boring cities on earth: where I live now and Belleville. Fuck. 

Too busy, not busy enough

I have had a lot of "bloggable" things on my mind lately. My computer has been acting up lately, so I didn't get a chance to blog each thing individually, in depth. So I will just generally talk about what I've been thinking about.

I have been extremely bored all week. Bored and lazy. I have had nothing to do at school, and I had supply teachers all week. I always save my homework and assignments for Sunday mornings, so this morning when I had 3 things to do, I was so excited. I have just been so unchallenged lately. Peer tutoring is the only challenge I have at school. Things just seem to be moving so slow.

I have been so lazy--- and STRESSED OUT about BEING lazy, that on Saturday I woke up, got dressed, and started crying because I had to go to work. I took the day off as a mental health day. I just needed a day off, even though I have pretty much had the whole week off. But I am glad I did it. I just needed that day. It is weird that even though I have been bored all week that I needed to take another day off.

All I know is that I need a new challenge. I think I am going to pour my energy into three things:
1. My half marathon is on Sunday, so I am doing last minute training stuff. Sort of, I don't want to injure myself again! But today I am running 10k, but I am doing it at a fast pace. Tuesday or Wednesday I am going to do 15k-21k then on Friday I am going to do a little run, maybe 5k or so, just before the weekend. Also, I'm going to pour my energy into my bodybuilding as well. Today I am doing back. Monday I am doing abs and chest. Tuesday I am not sure if I am doing anything other than running or cardio. Wednesday is Shoulders, Thursday is back, Friday I am not sure if I am going to the gym, but if I do I am going to do a lot of stretching. Saturday I am going to toronto and then Sunday is the half marathon!
2. I am trying to read this book, but it is hard to get through the first few chapters. It's a sociology book I picked up from chapters, I thought seemed interesting. It's called "Going solo" by Eric Klinenberg.
3. I am going to start writing my essay for writers craft. I decided my final project is an essay. My topic for the essay is either "Why people think I am smart" or "Why I am not smart". It's going to be a satirical essay. But it is going to have to be pretty long. I think the rough copy is due in 2-3 weeks.

I hate having too much to do, but I also hate having too little to do. I need to find my balance.

Let's do this!