My lover - our first date & until now.

I haven't written in a month?

What the fuck?

Everyday I think "I should write in my blog soon" and then it doesn't happen for a month. Whoops.

Anyways...

I am in love with my boyfriend, Nick. We met in late August, a week or so before school started because him, myself and a friend of his/ours wanted to start a comedy club (which didn't pan out). Nick asked me to hang out and we hung out as friends. Until we made plans to go to Boston Pizza together and both of us later learned that neither of us knew whether or not it was a date. Until the end or halfway through or so. We ate at Boston Pizza and I was super nervous, but I wasn't like shaking or anything, I was just typically nervous. I had never felt nervous around him (other than maybe the first time we met, just a tad). He suggested we see a movie afterwards and saw We're the Millers.

Blah blah blah. Anyways, after the date was over he came back to res and we laid on a floor for a couple of hours playing with a mint and a dime. Yes, that happened. We kind of toyed at each other and flicked a mint across the floor. I would hold the mint or the dime and he would fight to get it out of my hands. He would hold it and I would rest my hand on his and then start trying to get it. Just feeling each others hands for the first time... was unbelievable. We are super weird, if you can't tell.

Anyways, he argues our first kiss happened on that floor. I argue that it didn't happen until the morning after. Whoops. Did I say that? Yeah. By the time our date was over and we were done mint playing it was 3am and I was "too tired and delirious to drive" and Nick didn't have a way home. Even though he said he would figure it out I told him to stay in res. After he started to move towards the living room I told him something like, "No, just come to bed with me. Not like that". Referring to sex, of course. So we passed out next to each other in a twin sized bed which we spent the next 6 months sleeping together in off and on when he came over to see me.

We grew to learn more about each other. Our newbie minor awkward dating stage was over in less than a few weeks.

He told me he loved me on October 25th, three days before my 18th birthday. I said "I think I do". I wasn't sure yet. Later he told me that he was pretty sure it was love but he questioned it. I hadn't really thought about it. November 2nd, on his birthday, I finally told him that I love him, and I did and do.

Eventually I didn't want to spend any nights apart from him. Not that I couldn't be alone, it was just that I didn't want to. We started spending more and more nights together at his parents' or at res and we talked about moving in together. I wanted to stay where school is for the summer because that is where he lives. It is also 5 hours away from all of my friends and family. But I couldn't spend a summer without him.

We decided to move in together in the summer. We ended up moving in together in March because we found an "awesome apartment" (which is now way too small and has too many things wrong with it, we want to move... even though it's not THAT bad).

Now we are just balancing life and work since school is out for the summer.

I love him. We have been together for over 10 months and living together for four of them. Our 1 year is on September 6th.

He is the reason I am alive.

Perspective Post #2

Here is my second perspective post. This is on my relationship with my boyfriend.

Since we have seen each other basically everyday since Christmas and have been living together for 2 months now, me going back to visit my mom, friends and school was the first time I have been away from him, even though it was only for about 3 days. This seems sad.

Here is how I felt:

When I first left I cried a little bit. I had one crying bout in the car after I was about 40 mins away from where I live, and another one while out for a walk at 11pm once I got to my mom's.

To describe how I felt: I felt like I was going through boyfriend withdrawal. As simple as that. I felt like I was going through a physical withdrawal, my stomach was upset, I was sad. I talked to him on the phone twice that night, for about 5 minutes each time. After the last time we talked I suddenly felt better. We didn't even say anything overly interesting. I specifically remember stating "There are so many worms outside right now. At least like three per sidewalk block".

I don't know.

Anyways, I quickly saw how I fell back into my life that was there. I felt normal being there, not that I don't feel normal here, I just felt like it was a year ago.

Despite me missing my boyfriend, I was happy with my time there. I did realize that I was being a bit clingy lately. I realized this before I left. I was having issues with time between us, even though we were seeing each other quite a bit.

I was also starting to get naggy.

Stepping away from him for a few days allowed me to not only realize this but dwell on it for a while.

I have made up my mind about some things with my relationship I will not post here but I will say that I am very happy in my relationship.

Getting a few days apart here and there is a good thing. I did realize I don't think I would ever be able to do long distance though, even with skype and text. Maybe a month apart wouldn't be terrible, but a semester or a year would hurt. I don't see myself doing this at all. Even though I love him more than I have ever loved anyone, and I would do anything for him, a huge part of our relationship is being physically together and removing that from the equation makes me unhappy.

One of the main reasons I love him so much is because he makes me happy and if we are apart for too long and I am unhappy, that is just counterproductive.

But we have no reason to do long-distance so I shouldn't dwell on it any longer.

I am just happy to have him in my life and plan to have him in my life as long as I possibly can.

I love you, Nick.

#1 30 Day Writing Challenge - 5 Ways to Win my Heart

This is the first day of the 30 day writing challenge!

5 Ways to Win my Heart

1. Accept me for who I am. I know this is cliche, but I am weird, awkward, quiet and uncomfortable around guys I like, the first few times I talk to them. If you accept me for being awkward and weird, that will automatically be something that I would love.

2. Be the confident one. I am not the most confident person. I can be, but most often I am shy and quiet. So if you make the first move, or at least lead the majority of the relationship along, I will be quite happy. Once I am comfortable with a guy, you can expect the roles to change sometimes though, and I will become the confident one.

3. Do the unexpected. If I am not expecting something to happen, I will love it 5x more. It can be anything, really. I don't know why. I am generally not big on surprises, but I do like the unexpected. Don't be completely un expecting though. For example: If we never talk, to not come up to me and kiss me.

4. Engage my mind in something. If you aren't overly intellectual or up for a good argument or conversation, don't expect anything to happen between us. It's kind of a deal breaker for me.

5. Make me laugh. Again, this is cliche, but it is so true. I am a big lover of comedy tv shows like the Office, Parks and Rec and 30 rock. I also like watching standup comedy and improv. I am not overly funny myself, at least not on command, but I like a guy that can make me laugh. It's not like I want you to start performing standup when we first meet, but it's nice to have someone who can make you laugh.


I feel like this is something you would put on a dating site. So hit me up @SarahFloria on twitter ;). JUST KIDDING.

Just on top of what I just wrote, something that I can't stand in a guy is someone who doesn't seem like they care. Like they put in no effort into the relationship, they don't express as much emotion towards me as I do to them, they just seem bored. I can't stay in a relationship like that.

So just sign your name in the comments below and I'll contact you. Nope, no I won't.

I change so often because I have a fish brain- Why Philosophy?

I have the crappiest memory.

I do not want to talk about that, here, now. But just let the record show that I can't remember shit.

Recently I was like "Why am I studying philosophy?".

I honestly had no idea why. I didn't remember selecting to study philosophy at any point. I knew that I blogged a lot about my choices for university, so I was looking through. Nothing. I found stuff that talked about me possibly wanting to do phys ed, psychology, wanting to be a teacher, not wanting to do anything, etc., but nothing specifically about choosing philosophy.

But I was looking through my old blog posts from the summer, and I honestly don't remember most of that stuff. My memory of myself from that time was COMPLETELY different from what my blog lead off. I am not sure if I was just faking who I was there, or I am really bad at remembering things.

But here I am. Asking myself "Why am I studying philosophy?". I would be perfectly happy studying sociology, psychology or political science. Double majoring with two of those. I can better answer the questions "Why do I want to take sociology, psychology or political science?" more than philosophy. So now is time for some intensive thinking.

Reasons why I may possibly be taking philosophy:
- I liked philosophy in history
- I like philosophy over the summer, the course I took online
- I find philosophy interesting
- I got a good grade in my philosophy course
- I like to think a lot
- Philosophy relates to a lot of subjects I like, like education, history and politics
- I am trying to answer the questions of life, and thats what philosophy is
- I want to learn about others' ideas and thoughts

Okay I guess I have a pretty legitimate reason. But I still don't remember when I decided on philosophy. I think at some point I just decided on philosophy and political science and I just was tired of changing my mind, so I just rested there, and that's where I stayed when I applied to university.

I looked through my old philosophy notes recently, and reminded myself of why I like it. I like the debate of the topics. I like looking at things like ethics, epistemology, waves of thought. I don't know. I just get it. Philo/sophy, the love of ideas. That's what I love.