What is a "good" educator?

Right now in Ontario there is a huge waiting list for educators before they get a teaching job. After this year all BEd students have to do two years of the degree rather than one which most believe is due to the government trying to slow down the process. I think the two year style is a better one. It doesn't seem to be deterring too many people though. Especially since in my year, people who chose concurrent ed only do 1 year (after this year they must do 2).

I am in my first year of university with plans to go into education. I want to teach high school for a while but then I want to do something higher, possibly in the school board or even the government. Education itself is my greatest passion. I want to actually teach but I also have a desire to learn about education philosophy, study and perhaps test education methods and to learn how learning takes place psychologically and test that as well.

But not all educators have to have my passion for education.

My whole point with this "blah blah blah" intro is too many people are going into teaching because they don't know what else to do, they were told to, it is in the family, they have a pointless degree otherwise, etc. I'm sure there are many educators furious at me because they fit into one of these, which of course you can, but you should be a good educator and you can be.

So what is a "good" educator?

In grade 11 I did a research essay/presentation on the student-teacher relationship and the most important aspect of that said relationship.

One of the most important discoveries of mine was that there needs to be a relationship, period. So many teachers distance themselves from their students. Share your lives (obviously not too much), ask about the students. Don't develop just a relationship with the whole class, develop individual relationships with each student. Instead of scaring the students with grade reviews individually in the hall or after class, first, scare them with that because they'll think that is what is happening but then get to know them.

Getting to know each other establishes trust. Trust is another element I found important in the s-t relationship as well as in the classroom environment. Learning cannot occur until trust has. The student should feel comfortable in their learning environment. Comfortable with the teacher, with their classmates, etc. Then they will be able to forget their worries and focus on the lesson.

Caring was an important aspect that many students in the class I was giving the presentation to identified as important. A caring relationship also establishes trust and enables the student to feel truly... well cared for. You never know the students' home lives. You might be the closest thing they have to a stable life.

My teacher in that classroom identified communication to be important. Obviously all of these things have to occur with communication. But from perspective as a teacher it was more from the idea of she can't guess what is going on if the students do not tell her. I would also argue trust has to be here for the students to tell the teacher what is going on.

I think many teachers also act as guidance and support, both educationally but also emotionally/psychologically. I have had teachers (in high school) assist me with emotional problems. Not all of my teachers were like this. I don't think it should be expected. But there is a deal of compassion that I think should be a sub-requirement of the teacher. Even one of my "stricter" (in a way) teachers still showed compassion towards me at one point.

I also think humour is an important element of the teacher. Make your class laugh. Make them happy. If they are laughing and happy they are enjoying their time in your class and making the quality of their education better.

Of course, education is of course the conveying of ideas so the teacher should obviously not only know their subject but be passionate about it. I was very excited about one of my subjects of study in high school just because of the amount of passion my teacher conveyed in all of her lessons. Knowing your subject and then showing passion for that subject just helps students' learning.

I am sure (completely positive, in fact) that there are many more elements of a "good" educator but for now this is where this list ends.

My passion for education will hopefully take me places, despite the job wait for teachers. I will have to complete a 2-year BEd and of course I am still only in my first year of my undergrad, but it will be worth it. I am going to double major in psychology & philosophy and minor in english studies. The way my credits are structured I actually have room for a second minor so I can attain 4 teachables by the end of my 4 years. I am considering fine arts, classical studies and history. I wish I was in concurrent ed just so I can be learning about education (my true love) but not being in con-ed has allowed me to get 4 teachables rather than two.

What do you think is the most important element of a "good" educator?

Annoyed Atheist

I was extremely annoyed yesterday, although it is mostly my fault.

I have inevitably been doing a lot of thinking about atheism, since I am writing a comedy book about atheism, but also because I decided to take Religious Studies in my first year at university.

Let me give you some background before I tell today's story. I am an (agnostic) atheist and I am pretty strong on my views. I was talking to somebody close to me about theism and atheism and how I am taking the Religious Studies course. 

I was explaining my reason for taking Religious Studies to this person and for your curiosity, it is for a few reasons:

1. I genuinely find religions fascinating

2. I feel like I will have more credibility than the average theist if I have taken a religion course, I feel like I might get something out of it

3. There is a 3rd year atheist course I want to take (which can be counted towards my Philosophy degree) but I have to have the 1st year credit to take it.

So I was explaining this (well the first and third reasons) to this person and then I jokingly said "Hey! At the end of first year I could change my major to Religion!" and they responded "Why would you do that?"

I actually took a little bit of offence to this, but I let it slip. I started talking about my majors again as well as what that might mean for me if I decide to go into teaching (which I likely will).

At one point in time, deep into the conversation this person said something along the lines of "You can't be a teacher if you think that".

This is making me furious just sitting here typing it. They were referring to me being an atheist. 

Excuse me? I can't be a teacher if I am atheist? And people wonder why theists frustrate me so much.

I tried to explain that as a teacher you have to be open minded and obviously if I were to ever teach a course (we were specifically talking about teaching a religion course) in high school that I would have to share all aspects and points of view of a subject, and as a teacher I can barely even share my opinion (which is part of the reason why I am not leaning towards NOT wanting to be a teacher). To be a teacher you must be open-minded, which I am fully aware of. This person seems to think I am going to start forcing atheism down people's throats in a classroom.

Anyways, I was attempting to explain this, but this person wouldn't shut up. They kept talking over me. This is when our conversation that led to debate which led to disagreement, then became an argument. I started shouting out to "shut up and let me talk" and this person wouldn't let me.

That is basically the end of this. I didn't get a chance to explain anything because they wouldn't SHUT UP. 

I am furious. I am annoyed. These little interactions with theists or even just people close to me, make me want to stomp out a puppy. 

This led me to cry a little. Not because we argued, I was literally crying because some people are so (for lack of a better word) STUPID and can't be open-minded. 

Sometimes when I talk atheism vs. theism I am offensive. I honestly don't care. I feel the need to push my limits because I look at theism almost like a societal crisis. A mass group of people believe in something that doesn't exist! Can you really blame me for wanting to stop it? 

I cry because I am so frustrated that people won't be open-minded to really realize god doesn't exist.

Although saying this to a theist means nothing, because they just try to rationalize me being atheist by saying I am the devil, by saying that I had a bad childhood or I am just mad at god. 

NO. I am just the only sober person in a world filled with idiots drunken and poisoned by theism.

I feel like to a theist right now that I am actually pretty funny because I seem like the idiot. Trust me, I'm not.

I think that my point in saying all of this is that I have realized (once again) that I can't control everyone. I feel like my ideas, opinions, etc., should be the world. I fully believe I am correct. But I am also 100% sure that everyone thinks the same about their own ideas. Back in my Grade 12 philosophy course I would always answer questions by first stating that there is no correct answer because everyone's views are different, and would go on to tell my views and explain why.

I just have to accept that not everybody is going to agree with me. I just hope that there are some groups of people that will listen to me.

I have 2 last little tidbits about atheism to dissolve away from my rant...

1. I was considering getting an atheist themed tattoo, mostly just because people's cross tattoos annoy me, but also because I am an atheist and I wanted to display it. I soon talked myself out of it because I rationalized that it is weird to display that I have a belief in something that is a belief that something doesn't exist. It's like getting a tattoo saying "Frog-birds don't exist" to me. So I am not getting it, because I think it's weird.

2. My book. I shall reveal a little more. Not too much, though. I don't want my blog to become my process and ideas of my book. I already said that:

1. I am writing a book about atheism

2. It is comical

Now I shall reveal sort of the premiss. It is directed for the atheist reader, although some aspects may apply to theists. It's sort of a how-to book for atheists, but it is all completely bogus stuff, making it funny. Sort of. I may change some parts, I have barely started it. It is still in the brainstorming process. It will forever be in the brainstorming process, until it is published (which I hope someday, it will be). 

Does anybody else get really annoyed when someone has the complete opposite idea about something that you believe in? 

14 Lessons I've learned in High School

I feel like my blog is about to get repetitive, focusing around the topics of grad, prom and university. So many big changes. Anyways. Here is a list of lessons I've learned throughout high school.

1. Drama is stupid, yet unavoidable. 

Drama seems so cliche, yet it is so hard to avoid, even if you're trying. Guys start drama as well as girls. It is stupid, and it won't last forever. 

2. It doesn't matter if you have a boyfriend or not.

Considering the fact I went though high school without ever having a boyfriend... well I lived. I wish I had one, of course, but if you don't ever have a boyfriend or girlfriend, it is not terrible. 

3. Being alone is okay.

It is okay if you have days without friends or people to talk to. I used to have terrible anxiety in like grade 9 when my friends weren't at school, or when I had a class without any friends in it. It's stupid to be anxious over that, now I am fine on my own, whenever. 

4. Your teachers won't bite you.

I don't know why I was afraid of talking to teachers in younger grades, I get that it can be weird/scary to some people to talk to them, but it won't hurt you, just do it.

5. You will lose friends.

I don't know anybody who hasn't either lost a friend, had one move away, or switched who your best friend is. Things change, people change. 

6. Its okay to start new things halfway through high school.

In grade 9 and a bit of grade 10 I was super stressed about finding my "thing" because I felt like everybody had something, whether it was a sport or a club. I didn't really join anything, then, and I was kind of too shy to, as well. I did craft club for a bit in grade 9. I did hip hop outside of school in grade 

nine. Grade 11 I did GSA (gay straight alliance). Grade 12 I signed up for cross country. I started running in grade 11, and I wasn't really athletic before then... you can get new hobbies and likes later rather than earlier in grade 9. Don't be afraid to join something in grade 9, and don't think you'll be excluded because you are now in grade 11 or 12. 

7. Grades are important, but what you learn is more important.

I got a 78% in Exercise science, which I knew I would be bad at that course since I am terrible at memorization and science, but I learned so many good lessons. I am glad I took that course... even though it was my lowest mark in a grade 12 course. I learned more in that course than I did in grade 12 law, which is my highest mark at the moment.

8. Don't take a course just because your friend is in it.

If you don't want to take that course, then don't. Simple as that.

9. The purpose of school is to learn, not to goof off with friends.

Schools were created to learn inside of. Learn inside of them. Make friends, sure, do that, it is part of the high school experience and you should make friends. But honestly, when it comes down to it, learning is the most important part in high school. Use your time outside of school to goof off. 

10. You aren't going to like everything/everyone.

You are going to hate some of your courses, teachers and classmates. But it is a skill you are going to have to develop, to cope with things you hate. Don't skip or get into fights over it, just deal with it and focus on the courses, teachers and classmates you actually like.

11. It isn't that bad. 

At times things do get bad. Being a teenager is stressful, you will go through things that will make you want to punch a puppy, but it passes. You always hear that high school is terrible and it really isn't. You will have good and bad experiences. But in the end, graduating, the good experiences are all that matter.

12. Stay healthy and active and don't sacrifice sleep (too often).
Don't eat cafeteria food EVERYDAY. Once in a while is okay. But do try to eat healthy. You don't have to join football or track, but at least try to walk or something. Being healthy and active help your brain. I don't recommend pulling all-nighters, but once in a while is okay. Try to get 7+ hours of sleep. I recommend about 8. But try not to go below 7. Sleep is your friend.

13. Don't get too busy. 
Don't take 4 hard courses, get a part time job, volunteer and keep up your social life. You are going to have to quit SOMETHING. There were many times in high school my course load was really light, so I could spend my time doing whatever. But I had 2 part time jobs from 2nd semester grade 11 until partway through 1st semester grade 12. In grade 11, it was fine. At the time I had law, history, english and art. My course load wasn't light, but it wasn't too bad. Grade 12 1st semester I had english, 2 history courses and exercise science, and I couldn't keep up with the amount of exercise I was doing and my two jobs, so I had to quit one. You will be more stressed out if you try to "have it all". You are going to have to quit something, don't fear it.

14. Record what you do in high school.
Buy a yearbook every year, write a journal, blog, take photos, make videos, keep keepsakes and timetables. Make a box, put the stuff in it, open it up 10 years from now, cry. You want to remember these things. Grade 9 + 10 I took a LOT of photos and videos. I write journals, not often, but maybe 6-8 times a YEAR about all of the important things. I keep any certificates, funny things my friends drew, I keep some of my notes from my favourite classes. Someday I'll be glad I did this. You should do this now, too.






I'm going to miss my school.

Am I a pessimist or non-conformist? Part 2

It's not absolutely peril that you read "Am I a pessimist or non-conformist?" to understand this post, but it is a continuation.

I was talking about how I am a fairly negative person, generally. I don't consider myself a pessimist, it's just I try to make sure that the negatives in the good things get pointed out.

Yesterday, in the class I tutor in, a student was trying to tell me something and finally she found the words and said something along the lines of "You are a really positive person like oh everything is good just look at it this way".

I was just like whaaaaaaa, because I consider myself a negative person. But I guess that is just what is in my head, and that otherwise I seem positive.

In the class I tutor in, I try to be positive to make up for all of their negativity ex: "I don't want to do this" "This is stupid" "I'm being bullied" "I'm going to fail", etc.

I guess maybe I am more positive to them.

But I hate seeming like Miss. Perfect, because they know I get fairly good grades and that I try fairly hard on most things in school, so I went on to tell them how I think I am negative. They just kind of looked at me, so then I just mocked the one girl's face and they laughed. I find myself actually trying to prove myself to be not Miss. Perfect to them, and I tell them a lot of stories about me that are the type of things I put in my blog and don't talk about face-to-face with people, like my dad's death, my restraining order against my dad, my crying fits and panic attacks. Yesterday I told them how I was upset one day and just walked out of class. But I also did this to console this other girl who was telling us a similar story, and I wanted to comfort her and let her know that she's not alone. I also told her something someone told me, is that if you are fuming and upset and angry, that you should just walk out of class, cry, scream, do whatever you need to, and not let it bunch up.

I think I am negative, but I seem like I am positive, but I am really negative and positive. Aren't we all?

This reminds me of something else. One time one of my teachers told me that I am "sensitive", because we were talking about horoscopes and Scorpios and water signs are usually seen as sensitive. But I just flat out said no I'm not, but then she said again that she thinks I am, but after arguing back and forth for a bit she was kind of like "Okay maybe you're not".

So that day I thought about it some more "Am I sensitive?" I don't think "sensitive" is the first word that comes to mind when I think of myself. But it can be thought of in a few different ways, sensitive like when somebody says something to me, I react, or sensitive like I am intuitive with others' feelings. I think she meant the second one. But either way, I thought about it and I could see myself as sensitive.

I kind of felt bad that I just turned down the fact that I was. It is just one of those memories that I think is probably going to stick around for a long time.

But the thing was and still is, is that I don't like being known as sensitive. I don't want to be known as the nice, sensitive, optimist. I hate that. I used to thrive on that stuff, but now i just hate it.

But  don't want to be negative, mean and insensitive. I guess I am both.

I don't want to say deep down I am sensitive and positive, and on the surface that I have a negative shell, because I feel like to certain people I just show what I want to. I'm not going to be outright mean to anyone unless I think I need to be. But I am not going to go out of my way to help people either.

I just do whatever I want.

I am cynical, critical and skeptical, which is why I like having this negativity about me, because I do think that society and things should be questioned, and it helps to have a negative mind for that.

Are you a negative or a positive person?

Anger, yelling, teaching.

I feel like something a lot of people don't know about me is my anger.

I generally feel like I give off a off-putting vibe when I am upset about something, but I generally don't yell at people.

At home, when I get mad with my mom, I always yell and get quite angry. Usually anger and a loss of patience goes hand in hand. In peer tutoring today I was so tempted to yell at a few different students. There was a supply teacher who wasn't controlling the class, and at one point when she was talking, literally every single student was whispering/talking/on their phone. I was about ready to stand up and tell them to cut it out, but I didn't want to override the supply teacher, so I didn't.

I can get quite angry at times. It is scary when I am. I feel like I lose my temper when I am really pissed off or passionate about something.

I also have a feeling I am probably going to lose my temper in residence at university. If I have a fucking stupid roommate, I am going to probably yell at them.

I don't have the best techniques. I feel like some people just should never be yelled at- ever, they just can't handle it. But other people can handle it. Sometimes yelling is the option.

In law we also talked about how teachers can still technically, legally use corporal punishment. I couldn't imagine ever, as a teacher, hitting a student. But today, I wished I could've smacked this one kid. I feel like a little smack could get them to shut the fuck up and listen to me.

When I'm a teacher I'm probably going to be really weird- as I have discussed before, that I am weird, and will probably use really weird teaching techniques. But I will not tolerate people not paying attention to me teaching. I will yell at them and embarrass them. Talking it out may work with most people, but haven't you seen at least one student who is always "talked to" and suspended, but never changes? I feel like if somebody really tried to yell at them that they would listen. It's all about discipline and controlling the room.

I've only really had one teacher that enforces this a lot. I read a book where this whole school was under very strict discipline and they all acted so calm and collected, which I thought was weird and unethical. After today I think it is perfectly fine.

I have only really had two teachers full out YELL at the class. I didn't care for one of them, and the other was okay. I have had many teachers get disappointed and strict with us. I had this one teacher that always gave us these huge lectures with a domineering tone. They were good and people shut up and listened to her, but nothing really changed, and she gave these lectures way too frequently.

I don't know.

I personally hate being yelled at. Depending who is yelling at me, I will just yell back, some people I might just take it from, but most I will yell back.

I remember in the Freedom Writers' Diary movie, Ms. Gruwell yelling at this one student who said he deserved a failing grade, because she felt like it was a huge "fuck you" to her and him. I think this is the type of thing that should actually be practiced.

There is no need to yell when you are working one-on-one with a student, because you can easily just talk to them. But if you have a class of 20+ students, yelling is the one thing to get them to all simultaneously shut the hell up.

Whatever. I think it's fine for teachers to yell at students, I will probably do it, and that is all I have to say.

I change so often because I have a fish brain- Why Philosophy?

I have the crappiest memory.

I do not want to talk about that, here, now. But just let the record show that I can't remember shit.

Recently I was like "Why am I studying philosophy?".

I honestly had no idea why. I didn't remember selecting to study philosophy at any point. I knew that I blogged a lot about my choices for university, so I was looking through. Nothing. I found stuff that talked about me possibly wanting to do phys ed, psychology, wanting to be a teacher, not wanting to do anything, etc., but nothing specifically about choosing philosophy.

But I was looking through my old blog posts from the summer, and I honestly don't remember most of that stuff. My memory of myself from that time was COMPLETELY different from what my blog lead off. I am not sure if I was just faking who I was there, or I am really bad at remembering things.

But here I am. Asking myself "Why am I studying philosophy?". I would be perfectly happy studying sociology, psychology or political science. Double majoring with two of those. I can better answer the questions "Why do I want to take sociology, psychology or political science?" more than philosophy. So now is time for some intensive thinking.

Reasons why I may possibly be taking philosophy:
- I liked philosophy in history
- I like philosophy over the summer, the course I took online
- I find philosophy interesting
- I got a good grade in my philosophy course
- I like to think a lot
- Philosophy relates to a lot of subjects I like, like education, history and politics
- I am trying to answer the questions of life, and thats what philosophy is
- I want to learn about others' ideas and thoughts

Okay I guess I have a pretty legitimate reason. But I still don't remember when I decided on philosophy. I think at some point I just decided on philosophy and political science and I just was tired of changing my mind, so I just rested there, and that's where I stayed when I applied to university.

I looked through my old philosophy notes recently, and reminded myself of why I like it. I like the debate of the topics. I like looking at things like ethics, epistemology, waves of thought. I don't know. I just get it. Philo/sophy, the love of ideas. That's what I love.