A very long post about being self-conscious and then a personal blog post

I am so happy.

I am going to blog about body issues and self esteem issues now.

First of all. You may ask "Well Sarah, how are you qualified to tell me about this crap!"

Well. I am very knowledgable on the topic. I have listened to so many podcasts, experienced so many things personally, people around me, and stereotypically, I am a girl, okay?

Now, I want to express how angered I get with topics like these. Not angered, but pissed. Its hard to explain. I just have all of this knowledge, and I know how to fix people's problems, but I can't. You cannot fix others people's problems. Only THEY can fix their own problems. So this post, hopefully may inspire you to do so. Maybe you don't have problems, I am just saying 1) Only you can change it and 2) They are not problems.

Let's get hot and heavy:

You are unique. LOL JK IM NOT GETTING ON THIS PATH.

Your body is something you have once in your life. Everybody's is different. You probably know this. But do me a favour, think about somethings you hate about your body. Okay. Well I have some news for you:

You can't change them. Ever. Well, that is a half lie. Because some, and most things you can fix with procedures, dieting, etc, which I am not saying "Don't get botox!" but I am saying, that it is your choice.

Things like botox, boob jobs, starving yourself, they are things you to do fix your insecurities.

And that is exactly it. All of those things I had you think about are insecurities.

You could be insecure by a few of these reasons, maybe one, or all of them:
1) You have looked in a mirror and disliked something about yourself, most likely from comparison
2) You have compared your body to another, or your personality, "smartness" etc, and you feel you don't add up
3) Somebody has pointed out your flaw to you, and now you are just driving yourself crazy over it
4) another thing. If you can think of one. Anything.

Basically, anything you feel bad about, you are insecure about. Basically, whether or not you do get rid of or fix that part of you (somehow) you will still have not gotten over your insecurity, which is the psychological aspect of something physical, etc.

Let's say, you feel bad about your thighs. You hate them. You think they are fat. They have cellulite. They have a weird tan line, and they jiggle when you walk. So you hate them. You cover them. You don't want people to see them. You think you even heard someone call you "thunder thighs" once.

Maybe you choose to stop eating, eat less, workout more, always wear pants, never wear shorts.

Or maybe you chose to embrace it.

What did you choose? I am not saying one of those choices is worse then the other but heres what I am thinking:
1) You chose one of these to options
2) You either like or dislike that option

Socially speaking, many people would choose one, and then preferably want to embrace it (whether they do or not), but so many people turn down the first path, which I personally think its wrong, but that is for you to find out later, if you go that route.

So now you are like, well how do I get over my insecurities? And this is when I reflect back to where I told you, only YOU can know this. Now I ask you this question:

How will you get over your insecurity?

That is up to you to decide. But I just want you to know, that I personally want you to lose all insecurities about yourself.

I know I have lots of insecurities. I try to embrace them, and yes, it is VERY HARD. But if you can somehow figure out how to reverse them, then you have made it.

Also, I want you to gain some self respect.

Has someone ever given you a compliment, and then you respond with "I guess so.. but my hair looks bad today" or "No, I hate it."

Why do you say this? I ask you, as society, Why is it wrong to love yourself? Somehow this precedent has come up in society that you cannot accept a compliment--- you cannot love yourself. No, of course not, its wrong.

This is something I discovered a long time ago. I feel like a rude bitch when I just say "Thank you", I need to just insult myself, because it is wrong to like yourself, right? Wrong.

Liking yourself is an amazing solution to your insecurities. The next time somebody gives you a compliment, don't insult yourself, say "thank you". If you feel rude or something, compliment them back. AND IF THEY SAY "Oh, I don't like it". Tell them "Stop. You are beautiful" Do this no matter how awkward it is, because the worst think that can happen is awkwardness. The best is that you can make their day.

I have accepted loving myself. It is really hard. But there is a difference from thinking "Oh, I like myself." and "I am amazing". Tell it to yourself, then tell it to the world. Get over your insecurity and the embarrassment of loving yourself.

Loving yourself when no one else does is one of the hardest things to do. But honestly--- even if you think nobody loves you, I do. I love all people. Honestly. I care about you--- if you are a stranger or not.

I DARE YOU to watch this 20 MINUTE LONG VIDEO.

If you refuse this dare, I still am forcing you to watch 13:42- 14:07 it basically sums up part of what I said

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVmVtjUCiYc&feature=g-u&context=G248cd37FUAAAAAAALAA

But seriously-- you are the solution to your own problem. You can read as many blogs and watch as many videos like this, but you are not going to love yourself and get over your insecurities until you do it YOURSELF.

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The two things that inspired me to just write up all of this was
1) The video I posted
2) Today I was in the girls bathroom and there were some HJC girls in the bathroom and one said something to the other like "You have thunder thighs" but you could tell, they were in the same friend group, and they were being friendly. I was completely horrified by this. The girl that was called thunder thighs didn't really respond, she didn't cry, she kinda laughed, but you could see how sunken she was by this. I regret how I acted: I did nothing. I was too scared to be like "What did you just say to her?". Maybe I could've started a fight, or embarassed myself, but that is NOT okay. Absolutely not. I wanted to punch that girl out.

The girl she called "Thunder thighs" wasn't even fat. AND IT WAS OBVIOUS THEY WERE ON A SPORTS TEAM OR SOMETHING TOGETHER. They were wearing jerseys and spandex. Obviously she is active. Don't encourage someone to be insecure. If she is HEALTHY AND FEELS STRONG then who are you to say that not being a twig is wrong?

Seriously. This just makes me want to punch things, because I know I can't do much about it.

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Personal Blog Part:

I feel amazing. Amazing. AMAZING. My life is actually at a really big high point right now--- and I am not afraid to show it.

I got a job.
I am doing AMAZING at the gym. I fucking love it. It makes me feel so strong and healthy.

People may not understand--- but being healthy feels amazing. Everything will change. Maybe not instantly, but honestly, eating healthy and exersizing feels AMAZING.

I have heard people say this and I am like "Well I do eat healthy and exersize". No. NOW I do. Now I feel unstoppable. When you excersize healthily, I actually found many of my day-to-day cravings for sugar and greasy foods went WAY down. I mean, I still get them, but not as often.

Also, I am not as tired as I have been.

ALSO, my grades are actually so much better then usual.

There are only 2 aspects in my life that are suffering. I am still trying to figure it out in my brain though.

Life Advice: Don't stress yourself out about it.