What ifs?

I was at work on Saturday and I thought that I should write a blog about "What ifs". Like, what I would do if something happened.

I was sort of thinking about it a bit at work.

Then I got on a bit of a thought process. I made myself really sad. So my first "What if?" is:

What if I got Cancer?

When I thought of this I automatically got so sad. I always thought Cancer is a possibility I could get it. I just imagined getting it when I was like 40 and my kids were teenagers. But what if I got cancer now? I would be so sad. I am not even kidding. Obviously I would be sad, but even the thought of it makes me want to cry. It makes my stomach hurt. If I had cancer... I would need to do everything--- fast. I didn't have a chance to influence society. I didn't have a chance to do what I wanted. I can't die. I just can't. I never considered death as a fear of mine. And the actual experience of "dying" as in, death, doesn't scare me, but not being alive, is what scares me. I love life. I need to go places and meet people. I want to experience all of it.

But I did write up a will once... an illegitimate one. Like, its not legal. But I just wrote it in my journal. But it is severely outdated. But I wrote it up because I wanted to control the fate of my money after my death--- if I were to die young, like in a car accident or something. I also wrote up a version if my mom and I die, because that could be likely (again the car accident idea).

I don't know. I know that is weird, but I don't care.

So now, I am just going to google a list of What ifs and answer them.

What If something difficult happened in your life right now, who's the first person you'd want to talk to?
Honestly? Somebody who is not my family or my "friend". But I am not saying who.

What if you won enough money to support yourself and your family for the rest of your lives, what would you do?
I'd do just so. I would take a lot more vacations. I would do school a lot faster. I would open my smoothie shop now instead of 5 years from now.

What if you could take a vacation by yourself next week, all expenses paid, which would you choose?
England.

What if it were affordable, would you have your body frozen when you die so doctors might be able to revive you in the future?
Never.

What if someone invented a machine to record your nightly dreams, would you buy it and watch them?
Hell yeah I would

What if you were to have a baby boy tomorrow, would you get him circumcised?
Probably. BUT HELL YEAH I'D BE SO HAPPY.

What if 16 year olds could buy and drink alcohol?
I'd be drunk more often.

What if the walls could talk?
They Do.

What if the U.S. took over Canada and Mexico?
I would be a US citizen. I'd probably leave. Or fuck someone.

What if Christians didn't hate homosexuals?
I wouldn't hate christians.

What if men were women and women were men?
Everything would stay the same.

What if the ghost of your great grandpa haunted your bedroom at night?
Fuck. I'd be the fuck out of here.

What if God was one of us? (just a stranger on a bus)
Well. More hell should be raised then.

What if we live in an elaborate testing facility where they experiment on us, testing human responses to various external forces?
That would suck. I probably wouldn't know better.

What if I asked you out online?
GTFO.

What if the answer to life, the universe, and everything really is 42?
lol. Its not. So. Fuck it.

What if we're failing?
We are. So. Thats it.


Life Advice:
What if I was really not who you think I am?