Weirdo me back from the army. Don't know why this is the title.

Do you ever just have those moments when you see a picture of yourself and don't even recognize its you at first?

I do. Its not even a depressing thing, but sometimes when I am looking through my Facebook photos or my iPhoto the occasional photo will come up and for a really tiny piece of time.. like less then a second I am like "Who is that?". I just did that to this photo:



Its not even like its that old of a photo, its from grade 9.

But I almost always think about how much life has changed. Especially today and yesterday. I was talking to someone about my friends yesterday, because the person was asking me about "things" and was like "What about friends? I notice you only seem to have a few close friends." I was like, "I have 3 close friends". But I actually didn't think correctly, I have 4 close friends. By "close" I mean, I can hold a conversation with them and I actually like them as human beings.

But having friends is something I have lacked in since I have come to Belleville. I just can't make friends. In Primary school I was just friends with everyone--- even though I was sort of an outcast like I sort of am now. But I was able to talk to many people.

Here, its different. I am in highschool, I can't just start tackling the guys and playing house with everyone and pretending to go on quests with others. I have to communicate with people. Because conversations are my expertise and all.

Jk I suck at conversations. I really do. Obviously. But I butt in at the wrong time, can't talk at the right time, at awkward pauses I have nothing to say, I just frequently cause the awkward pauses. I am not specific in my answers and I don't like talking so I am kind of cold to people.

But you want to know how I can deal with not having many close friends.. or many friends even? I accept it. I just accept it. I'm fine with it. I am already independent as it is and I am fine that way. Of course, I can't live without human interaction, but I am just saying, I can be just as happy being by myself as being with friends.

But yeah, as I was saying, things just change. I am so different. I realized every year of highschool I would be like... I am so smart, I've gained so much knowledge (Not even like learning, just like life lessons) and then the next year that would be beat as well. I just can't stop learning and changing. When you learn, you change.

I always talk about this though. I guess it just fascinates me how people change and how society changes. It just seems almost unbelievable to me-- the past.

I just think, that is who I WAS not who I am now. Its not like I am ever ashamed of who I was, sometimes I just can't believe it was me. It seems almost like different "me"s in time are like completely different people, although I know thats wrong.

I don't know. I am just in, in-depth thinking mode.

Life Advice: Im a weirdnut.