Saturday, November 10, 2012

Why

Sometimes my ribcage just sinks back into my heart. I loose all of the air in my lungs... and I just... sink.

How can something so amazing happen to me today, and something so horrid as well? Of course the latter always happens last, so you go to bed with poor thoughts.

I suppose I should choose to have positive thoughts. But I like being sad. I feel like it is appropriate to feel sad.

I just wish that the person that made something so amazing happen to me, could be here with me now, and be sad with me.

I just have no words. None.

I always think of myself as a strong person, and that I can handle things. I like to think of myself as a fight person, and not a flight person. But the truth is, sometimes I am very weak, and the easiest things in the world hurt me. Sometimes I just want to run away. Other times I am very blunt and angrily honest. Then, I am a fight person.

I also think of myself as a leader, and not a follower. I think that a leader would need to be a fight person. But maybe the occasional flight wouldn't hurt anyone.

That reminds me of the hummingbird. Oh how I love it. I love the hummingbird so much. I have so many memories associated with hummingbirds. Let me briefly explain my top 5.
5. The time my dad and I rescued a trapped hummingbird in the bird feeder
4. As a kid, I had a LOT of imaginary friends... but only a single hummingbird.
3. The time I was able to hold a hummingbird, after my dad rescued it from a spider web.
2. I had this black stone with a gold engraved hummingbird in it. As a child, I believed it could give me magical powers.
1. The time my dad gave me a hummingbird necklace... and I broke it, so the next time he was in the area where he bought the last one, he bought me a second one. I still have it today.

I love how jumpy my ideas get.

Anyways, Goodbye.

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