Less than a month until my final year of my undergrad. Shit.
I really want to feel like I've actually accomplished something at the end of my degree here. I feel like I haven't learned three years worth of material from my education. I am not too sure why, it's not that the quality of my education itself is poor, I think maybe it is just because I haven't been taking my degree seriously. I don't take life seriously to begin with though, so maybe I just won't feel accomplished, ever?
Dark.
Anyways, all of my courses next year are all philosophy courses except for one english studies course I am taking. I am retaking one of my 2nd year courses to get a better grade. I'm considering applying to graduate schools. I am going to apply to Queens university for their Masters in Philosophy. If I do not get into that school I am going to take a year off and then apply to other schools.
I feel like I am too young to graduate. I will be 21 this October, and therefore in April when I graduate, I will be 21. That's fucking young for an undergraduate. In the united states that is the legal drinking age. I feel like I have missed out on a major part of life. I have been craving a crazier life. I wish I had a solid 5 years of working a shit job, living in a big city, maybe in school part time or something, but just hitting drugs and alcohol hard like every weekend. I guess it doesn't have to be drugs, but just something more adventurous. I have lived in a shit town for 3 years now, and it is so uneventful I feel my livelyhood is just gone.
But I am going to have my undergrad, I have a serious boyfriend, I'm fucking thinking of starting a house savings plan this fall. Jesus.
Career wise I am not super set on what I am going to do, still. I am thinking about attempting to become a philosophy professor, if not a high school teacher. But the past few years I've still craved the idea of either owning a cafe, bar or strip club (out of these three, most likely the 2nd). Maybe owning a bar would give me that crazyness I've been craving.
Although I am not too sure how good of an idea owning a bar is. I am an alcoholic. I don't want to get super into it, but I have been sober for about 25 days now. I am not never drinking again, but just for a little while I am not going to. It's almost as a punishment for me just abusing the fuck out of alcohol. I know what my max is in a night of drinking, but I haven't quite learned that drinking 1-2 26ers of vodka + whatever beers and ciders is bad yet. Well I guess I have. I just need to drink less. I have lost weight already from quitting for a little bit. Oh well. Just another thing to make my life harder, I suppose.
Anyways, I have been craving adventure like crazy lately. I might be hitting up Manitoulin island soon with the boy. I literally went to a concert on Monday night and I feel bored already. I feel like I need something exciting every night. That has never been my experience of my desires before so it's kind of weird. My next day off I think I am going to hit up the local hiking spot/waterfall with my dog again like I did 2 weeks ago or so. I might be going to another concert in November.
It's just a problem too because I need to be buckling down and focusing on school and all I want to do is move out to British Columbia or California or some shit and just party and go on adventures.
I suppose I will have to figure it out. If anybody has any ideas as to how I can quench my thirst for excitement, be my guest and comment them below.
I wasn't too sure where this post was going to go, but I guess I feel I am done now.
Until next time,
Sarah
I really want to feel like I've actually accomplished something at the end of my degree here. I feel like I haven't learned three years worth of material from my education. I am not too sure why, it's not that the quality of my education itself is poor, I think maybe it is just because I haven't been taking my degree seriously. I don't take life seriously to begin with though, so maybe I just won't feel accomplished, ever?
Dark.
Anyways, all of my courses next year are all philosophy courses except for one english studies course I am taking. I am retaking one of my 2nd year courses to get a better grade. I'm considering applying to graduate schools. I am going to apply to Queens university for their Masters in Philosophy. If I do not get into that school I am going to take a year off and then apply to other schools.
I feel like I am too young to graduate. I will be 21 this October, and therefore in April when I graduate, I will be 21. That's fucking young for an undergraduate. In the united states that is the legal drinking age. I feel like I have missed out on a major part of life. I have been craving a crazier life. I wish I had a solid 5 years of working a shit job, living in a big city, maybe in school part time or something, but just hitting drugs and alcohol hard like every weekend. I guess it doesn't have to be drugs, but just something more adventurous. I have lived in a shit town for 3 years now, and it is so uneventful I feel my livelyhood is just gone.
But I am going to have my undergrad, I have a serious boyfriend, I'm fucking thinking of starting a house savings plan this fall. Jesus.
Career wise I am not super set on what I am going to do, still. I am thinking about attempting to become a philosophy professor, if not a high school teacher. But the past few years I've still craved the idea of either owning a cafe, bar or strip club (out of these three, most likely the 2nd). Maybe owning a bar would give me that crazyness I've been craving.
Although I am not too sure how good of an idea owning a bar is. I am an alcoholic. I don't want to get super into it, but I have been sober for about 25 days now. I am not never drinking again, but just for a little while I am not going to. It's almost as a punishment for me just abusing the fuck out of alcohol. I know what my max is in a night of drinking, but I haven't quite learned that drinking 1-2 26ers of vodka + whatever beers and ciders is bad yet. Well I guess I have. I just need to drink less. I have lost weight already from quitting for a little bit. Oh well. Just another thing to make my life harder, I suppose.
Anyways, I have been craving adventure like crazy lately. I might be hitting up Manitoulin island soon with the boy. I literally went to a concert on Monday night and I feel bored already. I feel like I need something exciting every night. That has never been my experience of my desires before so it's kind of weird. My next day off I think I am going to hit up the local hiking spot/waterfall with my dog again like I did 2 weeks ago or so. I might be going to another concert in November.
It's just a problem too because I need to be buckling down and focusing on school and all I want to do is move out to British Columbia or California or some shit and just party and go on adventures.
I suppose I will have to figure it out. If anybody has any ideas as to how I can quench my thirst for excitement, be my guest and comment them below.
I wasn't too sure where this post was going to go, but I guess I feel I am done now.
Until next time,
Sarah
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