WORDS ARE OVERUSED

Ancient philosophers decided to write down their thoughts only when they were important.

We decide to write down what we were pooping in on twitter.

Well then, as I see, things have changed.

We just carelessly use words. We throw them around without meaning. All of the sentences I am typing I am using the first word that comes to my mind when I could use diction and select better sounding words to make this sound better.

Well that is not happening.

As a society we have overused words. Just look around, on every single advertisement, there are words promoting useless crap. Useless, useless words.

We use words to communicate, obviously. The written word is the easiest to communicate because it can be seen everywhere by people who speak that language. Sure, we could communicate through videos now, I suppose, but there is never a video to support words, yet there are words to support videos.

I am obviously overthinking this concept.

Words have lost their special meaning, though. Words used to be special, they were used to write down things that we may want people in the future to know. They were used to record history and tell stories. We use the written word for communication, now, too. We wrote letters, but even then the use of words was much more artistic.

Do you ever just look at something and think "Why? Why the hell is that there?". Words are being used without a single shit, again.

We overuse some words.

Words lose their meaning after overuse. They gain a new meaning after a while. For example, the word "bully" used to be a term of endearment. Words just change.

I think we also use too many words. So many thoughts can be conveyed in a smaller amount of words. Implementing things like word minimums in essays is kind of redundant if you can explain your thought in less words. If you are able to convey an idea, explanation or argument in less words, that should be rewarded! You aren't droning on and on and on. Political science is like that. A lot of the political science texts I have read are repetitive and circular. Michael Ignatieff's book The Lesser Evil could probably be half the length. Convey your fucking idea in less words.

This blog post isn't going to turn into a book because it's a fairly simple idea. We overuse words to the point where their meaning is lost. The purpose of words has changed from being maintaining history to communication and now we are maintaining pointless history and having pointless communication. Does the "Hey" "hey" "Sup?" "Nm, you?" "Nm" conversation sound familiar? Pointless.

Anyways. That is all for now. What are your thoughts?

Eating disorders and Body image

Time to revisit this thought.

In the class I peer tutor, we've been talking about eating disorders and body image. I relate to this a lot, and therefore have been thinking about it a lot.

In past blog posts I have talked about my struggles with body image and food, but I have a lot to add, now.

I've struggled with having a negative body image since about grade 8. You hit this stage once or even more than once during puberty where you start gaining more body fat. In grade 8 I used to wear a lot of skinny jeans and I felt okay about myself, but I always sort of thought in the back of my mind that I should be aware of this part of my life when I start gaining weight, so I can counteract it by exercising and dieting.

I started thinking about dieting in about grade 6 or 7. I remember one day I just thought "If I eat fat, I'll get fat!" so I thought I should restrict the amount of fat I take in by looking at nutrition labels. I had no idea how much fat I was supposed to have, so I think I made up some random number like limiting my fat to 20g a day, or something like that. My mom saw me looking at a label on some cookies at my grandma's house, and asked me what I was doing, I told her, and she said that fat really isn't a huge part of losing weight. So I stopped looking at labels.

Until a year or so after that, I was on yahoo.ca and I saw this article that was titled something like "The best way to lose weight", so I clicked on it. Essentially it just said that calories are essential to watch, when you are trying to lose weight.

So there began the counting of calories. I never knew that counting calories could actually be a bad thing, because I thought I was just being healthy by watching it.

But then I remember getting closer to grade 8 grad, and limiting my calories more and more. I found a website that told me I should have about 1,600 calories. I read somewhere else that you need at least 1,200 calories (as a girl) to be able to function somewhat healthily. I read somewhere else that you require 800 calories in a day to live. As I got closer to grad, my calorie intake of 1,600 was soon limited to 1,200, but 1,100, wouldn't hurt, so I strived for that.

Just so you know, this is what I looked like at grade 8 grad (on the left):

I was probably about 5'5'' and somewhere around 100-110 pounds (I forget).

I am naturally skinny, naturally thin I should say. I saw pictures from my childhood, and I looked thin. I never really had that baby fat thing going on when I was 3/4 that kids usually lose. I never really was chubby at all. But I actually did find a few photos of me when I was 7/8 and my stomach was a little chubby. So maybe I am not naturally skinny?

I know I did lose weight during this time. I forget how much, but at one point I remember seeing the scale, and whatever the number was, it freaked the hell out of me (but really, it was a normal number, it's just since I was growing, I was gaining weight). I do remember that I got my weight down to 102. I think I saw a number like 112-115. I was 12 or 13.

Then high school started. The counting calories became insane. I had so many foods calories memorized. I wrote it down. Frequently throughout grade 9 and most of grade 10, you would probably be able to ask me how many calories I ate that day, and I could tell you a pretty precise number.

It got worse though. Even though I ate the right amount of calories (usually), I started going insane counting calories. I would look up calorie info on my phone and my laptop when nobody was looking. One time, I even went to the extent of taking the recipe my mom was making for supper, typing in all of the ingredients, and figuring out exactly how many calories were in it, and how much I would eat based on this.

My mom didn't ever really notice what I was doing. When we went shopping at the grocery store, I would go down aisles by myself, so I could look at all of the boxes of cereal, etc., so I could compare calorie amounts and get the best box.

I usually tried to eat 1,600 calories, but I did lower it to 1,500 and 1,400 time to time when I got more scared I was gaining weight.

I don't think I ever obsessively weighed myself.

Then there is exercise. In grade 8 or 9 I discovered that there were workout videos online. I was too ashamed to tell my mom I was doing them, so I would do them when my mom wasn't home. I soon started riding my bike a lot too.

I didn't excessively exercise, but combined with the food I was eating, I definitely wasn't doing my body too good.

I wasn't really anorexic, ever. But I wasn't healthy, that is for sure.

It is good to count calories and workout, but you can't be obsessive about it.

The only times I ever actually starved myself, were on days I was either wearing a dress (semi-formals, grade 8 grad, etc.) and when I went to the beach. I did this so I wouldn't be "Bloated" and I would look thinner just for the day.

My friends didn't notice, or at least they didn't say anything, when it was really bad. In grade 10 I feel like they noticed more, but I was slowly getting out of my bad habits at this point. I wasn't out of them completely, but I was slowly getting out of them.

Although I was eating the right amount of calories, and working out a decent amount towards the end of grade 10 and beginning of grade 11. I did try to be bulimic. I attempted probably 5-10 times in my life, to throw up my food if I thought I ate too much. I couldn't do it though. I tried so many different methods, but for whatever reason, I wouldn't allow myself to. I knew what I was doing, and I knew the consequences. I like to think that my subconscious just wouldn't let me.

In February 2012, (in grade 11) I joined the gym. Finally. I decided that food wasn't cutting it, and I would have to workout more. I honestly was very healthy about dieting at this point.

Most of the time from February 2012-now, I was pretty good.

Although I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder, counting calories obsessively can be considered a form of anorexia.

I had relapses of eating problems. I stopped counting calories by this point. But I did have eating problems still. Just last year.

If I missed a day at the gym, or I felt like I didn't have a good gym session, I wouldn't eat as much as I was going to. I would still eat, just not as much.

I feel like some people may think that I workout too much. I did have some days at the gym where I would just go completely crazy and workout really intensely. I go to the gym 5-6 times a week, for 1.5-2 hours. I usually do 45 minutes of cardio, and the rest of the time is weight training.

At one point I claimed I was "cured" of my eating problems, because I didn't want the number on the scale to drop anymore. I wanted it to go up because I wanted to gain muscle. So when I hit 127 pounds, I was happy! But I actually dropped back down to 117, which I was sad about. But then I realized I just lost body fat %.

Learning about body fat % is definitely not my best friend.  Your body fat % is the % of body fat in your body, compared to your weight. I have become obsessed with this, within the past 5-6 months. I am trying to lower my body fat % and gain muscle. This, I don't want to call an eating disorder, and I don't have a negative body image anymore. This is just a body goal I have, that I am working towards in a healthy manor. 95% of the time.

The thing is I am still not 100% "Cured" as I once thought. Trying to get my body fat % down means that I eat less carbs, or burn more calories/fat. This is hard for me because I eat so much (not too much, just a lot). I want to have a nice set of abs, which I can tell I have abs, it's just my body fat is too high to be able to see them. I want to be able to see my abs. But I can't.

This still isn't the point. My point is that on occasion, I am really stupid about food. I eat everyday, I eat a LOT everyday. Sometimes if I miss the gym, I will eat less, which I guess isn't totally bad, because I do eat extra food to be able to work harder at the gym.

The problem is with running. I will go for a big run, and I won't feel like eating. I will think "I just burned 1,200 calories! Awesome! That's like half a pound!" then I won't eat. YOU NEED TO EAT AFTER YOU RUN. It doesn't help that you physically aren't that hungry after you run. I need to force myself to eat after I run. You need to eat to replenish your EVERYTHING so you can function and rest and heal properly.

I am mostly fine now. But I still on occasion look at my body, and I think my stomach has too much fat, or my butt, or my thighs. I look at my arms and think I'm a twig. I just can't win like this.

My doctor told me I am healthy. My mom thought I was working out too much. I told my doctor and she just said "That's a lot" and that "I wouldn't have that kind of time in university". She called my body type "slim".

Oh, and with my body fat %, I keep avoiding figuring it out, because I hate seeing it. I hate doing my body fat % because the number changes so frequently, and if it goes up, it drives me crazy.

Disadvantages of being Thin

I was lying in my bed taking a quick 10 minute power nap/break from reading my psychology textbook when I realized that my bony knees are touching each other and it kind of hurts. This drew upon previous information of mine. I am in love with Tina Fey and her autobiography Bossypants, in fact, I listened to the audiobook while driving to university this year, so it's pretty fresh in my mind. Anyways, this "knee touching" experience reminded me of one of the chapters in Bossypants  entitled "Remembrances of Being Very Very Skinny" in which she had a list of disadvantages of being "very very skinny". One of these was "Sometimes I had to sleep with a pillow between my legs because my bony knees clanking together kept me awake". I highly encourage all people to read her book, even non-lovers of comedy. I just love her though, I am a little biased.

Anyways, during my "nap" (which is really more like a "freethinking" session while lying down) I started to compile my own list, granted, I am probably at the highest body fat % I have ever been at, which is only about 23%, which is really, really good. I am a thin girl, I run half marathons (I just signed up for my first marathon) and I lift weights. I got my body fat percent down to 16% once and it was amazing, although, upon reflection I realized it isn't all gold. It isn't the best thing ever.

So here is my list of Disadvantages of being Thin:

- You reach a certain point while losing body fat that you can't eat anything unhealthy or else it affects you
- People call you "skinny" or "thin" and use statements like "Wow, you're so skinny!" and "I wish I had your body" and as good as this may sound to someone else, it is really awkward when you are that person
- The people that don't say that say things like "Eat something" to you and that is worse because it makes you want to punch them
- People assume you are anorexic. This is how that goes:
Anorexics are skinny
That girl is skinny
Therefore she is anorexic
Nope, not at all.
- People expect you to stay thin. This isn't totally a bad thing, but it's easier to lose fat and become skinny than to gain 10 pounds of fat
- More people try to lift you up. Sometimes it's okay, it's romantic, whatever, but other times random friends of yours just try to lift you. Not sure why.
- You know what angles work for you. You know that you can't sit in chairs a certain way because it makes your thighs look larger, you know how to pose for the camera. If you weren't thin, things like this wouldn't take up space in your mind and you could actually occupy your thoughts with important things like school rather than sitting in class being like "my thighs look different like this"
- Tina Fey said this, and I agree. You are colder.
- People assume you are healthy. This isn't totally bad either, but many skinny people are not healthy. I hate people who look at someone skinny and go "man she's healthy", no, it could just be her body. I know many people my size that eat like animals and I have met people who are considered obese that are running half-marathons


That is about it for my list, for now.

It is not bad to be thin in any way shape or form. I am not going to turn this into some kind of "Body pride" post saying "love your body no matter what", mostly just because that shit is everywhere on the internet, but also because I think it is corny. It's not a bad thing to have pride in your body but if there is a single girl or boy out there that doesn't hate at least one thing on their body, kudos. Even if it's just a little freckle that you hate.

In general I like being thin. I am a runner, I like looking thin in the things I wear, I eat healthy, but I will tell you that I will never try to get my body fat % WAY DOWN ever again. I literally couldn't even eat a scoop of ice cream without it doing something to me. I like where I am now, mostly eating healthy, working out regularly but still being able to sit on the couch and watch TV while eating a healthy amount of sweets and chips.



Side note:
I have been having issues coming up with blog post ideas so if any readers of mine have any suggestions, please comment them below. I've been busy with school but I still want to post about 4-5 posts a month. I used to be able to do like 8-12, but university is hard, man.