Letting go of smother (poem)

“Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”

― Deborah Reber

Your child is going off into the world,
let go.
The hardest part is to come,
The hard work is done.
Nature shows us the natural ability to let go.
Trees change, birds part, grass grows;
Life goes on.
Just let go.

My mother is having the hardest time letting go of me.
I push her away and she just will not leave me be.

This is harder for me than the average person.
She is a single mother of one;
I am her only child.
She has no husband to go back to,
No younger child to pester,
nothing.

People always say that you will want to go back to visit;
I refuse to be apart of the boomerang generation.

I do not want to live in this house.

This is not my house, this is her house. I am a guest here now, even though I haven't left.

I do not need someone hovering over me and telling me
"Do not buy a car, you can not afford it!"
"Do not go out into the dark!"
"Wash the dishes!"
 I need someone to                                   l       e      t                    g      o

Let me make my own mistakes.

Let me go.
I am not yours;
I was never yours.

I was never yours.
You gave me life but you do not own me.
I am not your sim that you can use in real life.

I have my own thoughts which are completely different from yours.

You are theist, 

I am atheist.

You are frugal,

I am not.

You are old,

I am not.

You are spiritual,

I am not.

You are uneducated,

I am not.

But the thing is, I was born in October 1995. 

I am not 18 until the end of October.

Not a legal adult? The law should not matter.

She thinks since I am not legal,

she can still be able to dictate my life.

From 5 hours away.

Your essence is not even of a mother.

It is of a daughter,

telling her elderly mother to stay away from danger.

I say 'I know what I am doing'

But my mother-daughter doesn't trust me.

No trust. 

The last time I needed someone out of my life was 2011.

The 'friend' who just had to end.

But 'mother' has no end. 

But with an 's' it could be smother.

No carnations for the smother.

No letters.

Sometimes letting go requires a push.

I just hope it is not me pushing myself

at the edge.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

I am going to university this fall and my mother is having the hardest time not comprehending that she does not control me. 

Fuck me

Hello there cliff. You're looking pretty sexy at this point in time.