Blogging everyday of June

This could be a mistake. But I am going to attempt to blog everyday of June. Somedays may have more than two posts.

But I want to complete this writing challenge:

I might miss a day, and if I do, I'll do two posts in one day. I'll continue with my regular blog posts, as well. But I just want to do this, in addition.

It might be a bad idea since I have exams, prom and grad in June. But I will try to do it. 

It'll just help me be more creative. Hopefully optimistic around exam time. Maybe. But it will give me something to do on study breaks. 

Let's do this!

They are just words

I'm not ignorant.

I am aware of the historical and social implications of the word nigger.
I am aware of the historical and social implications of the word cunt.

But you know what? They are sounds that come from mouths. If I just say the word nigger, with no context and not directed at a person, does it really have meaning? I suppose so. But I just think it is so weird that a sound that comes through one's mouth can have so many implications, societally.

Even though I know the word bitch is used more carefree than cunt, I honestly don't see the difference. One is just hated a lot more than another one.

I don't want to be screamed at every time I say cunt, so I don't say cunt.

I just don't understand how some sounds that come out of some mouths are so terrible. I say fuck quite a bit, and I just don't see it. I don't know.

I think this is just me trying to be all non-conformist. I want to say that it shouldn't matter if I am at a fancy dinner party, and I let the f bomb fly. It doesn't matter to me, honestly. But then again, I am probably not going to swear at some fancy event, or at least consciously.

I hate censorship so much. Socially, it is stupid. It really is. I would rather see random people naked on the street all the time, then never be able to say the word fuck again. And I really don't want to see nudists everywhere. I just hate censorship so much.

To me, censorship just represents this whole larger picture of the government and society suppressing things. When I hear somebody say something like "Don't swear!" I just internally think "Why?" and then I hear the response "Because it is inappropriate" then in my head, I again respond "Why?" "WELL I DON'T KNOW!" Would be the response. It just represents this blind commitment to something stupid.

This is what I hate about society. How easily people just do things just because other people are doing them. Sure, I do a lot, if not most of the things in my life, because other people are, but at least I am AWARE OF IT. I have a conscious working mind.

One time I said "Crap" and a couple of 10 year olds were like "WHOA YOU SWORE". What? No. Crap is crap. I'm pretty sure I've heard "crap" on disney channel before.

The amount of things in this life that if you ask "Why" to enough, and you eventually come to no answer, just make me want to punch a puppy.

I swear, if I didn't ever take history in school, I would never have developed my philosophical mind, and likely wouldn't be thinking this way.

Right now I even want to not publish this post. I feel like negative feedback might be something that might happen. I do that a lot with my blog posts. I am just kind of like "Should I?" "What will people say/think?". Why the fuck am I doing that? I just need to post this. Stop worrying about what other people will think.

Geez. Fuck. Crap. Shit. Bitch. Whore. Cunt. Nigger. Jackass. Poophead. Brontosaurus.

All the same to me, just not society. 

14 Lessons I've learned in High School

I feel like my blog is about to get repetitive, focusing around the topics of grad, prom and university. So many big changes. Anyways. Here is a list of lessons I've learned throughout high school.

1. Drama is stupid, yet unavoidable. 

Drama seems so cliche, yet it is so hard to avoid, even if you're trying. Guys start drama as well as girls. It is stupid, and it won't last forever. 

2. It doesn't matter if you have a boyfriend or not.

Considering the fact I went though high school without ever having a boyfriend... well I lived. I wish I had one, of course, but if you don't ever have a boyfriend or girlfriend, it is not terrible. 

3. Being alone is okay.

It is okay if you have days without friends or people to talk to. I used to have terrible anxiety in like grade 9 when my friends weren't at school, or when I had a class without any friends in it. It's stupid to be anxious over that, now I am fine on my own, whenever. 

4. Your teachers won't bite you.

I don't know why I was afraid of talking to teachers in younger grades, I get that it can be weird/scary to some people to talk to them, but it won't hurt you, just do it.

5. You will lose friends.

I don't know anybody who hasn't either lost a friend, had one move away, or switched who your best friend is. Things change, people change. 

6. Its okay to start new things halfway through high school.

In grade 9 and a bit of grade 10 I was super stressed about finding my "thing" because I felt like everybody had something, whether it was a sport or a club. I didn't really join anything, then, and I was kind of too shy to, as well. I did craft club for a bit in grade 9. I did hip hop outside of school in grade 

nine. Grade 11 I did GSA (gay straight alliance). Grade 12 I signed up for cross country. I started running in grade 11, and I wasn't really athletic before then... you can get new hobbies and likes later rather than earlier in grade 9. Don't be afraid to join something in grade 9, and don't think you'll be excluded because you are now in grade 11 or 12. 

7. Grades are important, but what you learn is more important.

I got a 78% in Exercise science, which I knew I would be bad at that course since I am terrible at memorization and science, but I learned so many good lessons. I am glad I took that course... even though it was my lowest mark in a grade 12 course. I learned more in that course than I did in grade 12 law, which is my highest mark at the moment.

8. Don't take a course just because your friend is in it.

If you don't want to take that course, then don't. Simple as that.

9. The purpose of school is to learn, not to goof off with friends.

Schools were created to learn inside of. Learn inside of them. Make friends, sure, do that, it is part of the high school experience and you should make friends. But honestly, when it comes down to it, learning is the most important part in high school. Use your time outside of school to goof off. 

10. You aren't going to like everything/everyone.

You are going to hate some of your courses, teachers and classmates. But it is a skill you are going to have to develop, to cope with things you hate. Don't skip or get into fights over it, just deal with it and focus on the courses, teachers and classmates you actually like.

11. It isn't that bad. 

At times things do get bad. Being a teenager is stressful, you will go through things that will make you want to punch a puppy, but it passes. You always hear that high school is terrible and it really isn't. You will have good and bad experiences. But in the end, graduating, the good experiences are all that matter.

12. Stay healthy and active and don't sacrifice sleep (too often).
Don't eat cafeteria food EVERYDAY. Once in a while is okay. But do try to eat healthy. You don't have to join football or track, but at least try to walk or something. Being healthy and active help your brain. I don't recommend pulling all-nighters, but once in a while is okay. Try to get 7+ hours of sleep. I recommend about 8. But try not to go below 7. Sleep is your friend.

13. Don't get too busy. 
Don't take 4 hard courses, get a part time job, volunteer and keep up your social life. You are going to have to quit SOMETHING. There were many times in high school my course load was really light, so I could spend my time doing whatever. But I had 2 part time jobs from 2nd semester grade 11 until partway through 1st semester grade 12. In grade 11, it was fine. At the time I had law, history, english and art. My course load wasn't light, but it wasn't too bad. Grade 12 1st semester I had english, 2 history courses and exercise science, and I couldn't keep up with the amount of exercise I was doing and my two jobs, so I had to quit one. You will be more stressed out if you try to "have it all". You are going to have to quit something, don't fear it.

14. Record what you do in high school.
Buy a yearbook every year, write a journal, blog, take photos, make videos, keep keepsakes and timetables. Make a box, put the stuff in it, open it up 10 years from now, cry. You want to remember these things. Grade 9 + 10 I took a LOT of photos and videos. I write journals, not often, but maybe 6-8 times a YEAR about all of the important things. I keep any certificates, funny things my friends drew, I keep some of my notes from my favourite classes. Someday I'll be glad I did this. You should do this now, too.






I'm going to miss my school.

My life is imagined

On Friday I was on stumbleupon and came across this post.

Number 4 of that post really caught my eye.

Essentially, the author stated that most of life is imagined. It really makes sense and kind of explained a lot.

As humans we spend so much time thinking, that thinking is really a large part of our lives. Even if it isn't just thinking about what's for dinner or what the meaning of life is.

I find myself running through random scenarios in my head all of the time. Often I'll take events or conversations that happened, and re-imagine them to go the way I wanted, or even a completely terrible way.

I really can't help my mind that much. It just wanders and then suddenly I realize that no, I have not won the lottery, or no, I have not lost all of my teeth, and that I am actually just sitting at my desk.

I know I can't be alone in this. But I do feel like I do this a lot more than the average person, because I like to spend a lot of time by myself. If I am doing something menial, like my job, or cleaning or going for a run or walk, or I am at the gym, I tend to imagine a lot of things.

So I realized: That a lot of my life IS imagined. Even more than the average person.

I don't think it is a bad thing, I like my imaginations in my life. As a kid I had imaginary friends, now I don't go to that extent now, but I do like to run scenarios through my head and picture how things might be different if X happened or if Y happened.

The author pointed to the quote "I've been through some terrible things in my life, some of which have actually happened" by Mark Twain.

I love this quote so much. I relate to this so well. Quite often when I can't sleep at night it's because I am imagining some intense, bad, terrifying scenario, and I can't shake it. This just reminds me of that quote. I think it is kind of funny.

This is also an amazing post about imagination and how big of a role it plays.

Man, I love my imagination.

Am I a pessimist or non-conformist? Part 2

It's not absolutely peril that you read "Am I a pessimist or non-conformist?" to understand this post, but it is a continuation.

I was talking about how I am a fairly negative person, generally. I don't consider myself a pessimist, it's just I try to make sure that the negatives in the good things get pointed out.

Yesterday, in the class I tutor in, a student was trying to tell me something and finally she found the words and said something along the lines of "You are a really positive person like oh everything is good just look at it this way".

I was just like whaaaaaaa, because I consider myself a negative person. But I guess that is just what is in my head, and that otherwise I seem positive.

In the class I tutor in, I try to be positive to make up for all of their negativity ex: "I don't want to do this" "This is stupid" "I'm being bullied" "I'm going to fail", etc.

I guess maybe I am more positive to them.

But I hate seeming like Miss. Perfect, because they know I get fairly good grades and that I try fairly hard on most things in school, so I went on to tell them how I think I am negative. They just kind of looked at me, so then I just mocked the one girl's face and they laughed. I find myself actually trying to prove myself to be not Miss. Perfect to them, and I tell them a lot of stories about me that are the type of things I put in my blog and don't talk about face-to-face with people, like my dad's death, my restraining order against my dad, my crying fits and panic attacks. Yesterday I told them how I was upset one day and just walked out of class. But I also did this to console this other girl who was telling us a similar story, and I wanted to comfort her and let her know that she's not alone. I also told her something someone told me, is that if you are fuming and upset and angry, that you should just walk out of class, cry, scream, do whatever you need to, and not let it bunch up.

I think I am negative, but I seem like I am positive, but I am really negative and positive. Aren't we all?

This reminds me of something else. One time one of my teachers told me that I am "sensitive", because we were talking about horoscopes and Scorpios and water signs are usually seen as sensitive. But I just flat out said no I'm not, but then she said again that she thinks I am, but after arguing back and forth for a bit she was kind of like "Okay maybe you're not".

So that day I thought about it some more "Am I sensitive?" I don't think "sensitive" is the first word that comes to mind when I think of myself. But it can be thought of in a few different ways, sensitive like when somebody says something to me, I react, or sensitive like I am intuitive with others' feelings. I think she meant the second one. But either way, I thought about it and I could see myself as sensitive.

I kind of felt bad that I just turned down the fact that I was. It is just one of those memories that I think is probably going to stick around for a long time.

But the thing was and still is, is that I don't like being known as sensitive. I don't want to be known as the nice, sensitive, optimist. I hate that. I used to thrive on that stuff, but now i just hate it.

But  don't want to be negative, mean and insensitive. I guess I am both.

I don't want to say deep down I am sensitive and positive, and on the surface that I have a negative shell, because I feel like to certain people I just show what I want to. I'm not going to be outright mean to anyone unless I think I need to be. But I am not going to go out of my way to help people either.

I just do whatever I want.

I am cynical, critical and skeptical, which is why I like having this negativity about me, because I do think that society and things should be questioned, and it helps to have a negative mind for that.

Are you a negative or a positive person?

Polygamy

I am not a polygamist but I think polygamy should be legalized.

I understand within some cultures polygamy has been the epicentre for sexual assaults, children being treated unfairly and children being ignored, but let's disregard that for the simple argument that not all people are like that.

Some cultures having polyandry, polygamy or polygyny are justified. Cultures that aren't as developed, or in the past, having multiple husbands or multiple wives is helpful to the household. Having multiple wives is good to have many children to help with work and populate. Having multiple husbands is good so they can go out and earn money and do hard labour to earn more money and have a rich family.

But I am not even going to linger on that point either. I'm talking about Western cultures that are highly developed.

Let's say your next door neighbour had 5 wives. What is wrong with that? A man treats his 5 wives nicely, most of the wives have 1 or 2 kids. What is wrong there? Everyone is respected, everyone raises the children.

What is actually wrong with it?

The average person will just say "It's not normal".
Neither was gay marriage, but guess what? We have that.

Some people may say "Well now there isn't enough women for everyone!"
Homosexual relations can also do that to the population. But guess what? We have that.

Politically speaking some people may say that new divorce and child custody laws will have to be developed.
Lawmakers should just lawmake. Easy. It's your job. This is why we have a supreme court. New laws have to come with societal change.

Of course if a polygamist family has things like sexual abuse, mistreated children or spouses, that should just be dealt with like any other goddam family. Taken to court, children taken away, counselling, divorce. It's not rocket science. It's an easy sociological and law concept. If one wife wants to divorce her husband or one husband wants to divorce his wife: let them divorce. Child custody should be shared between the two parents of the children. The other spouses shouldn't get a "time share" of the child, except when the child is with the husband or wife where the other spouses are.

I don't understand why people find polygamy wrong. It's like some gross concept to most people. Homosexuality was like this too.

Actually part of the reason why people find polygamy wrong is because it seems unnatural and because there are so many TV shows and TV segments about polygamist families that went wrong because of abuse within the household. Not all families are like this. Can I also mention that even "normal" families have abuse in them? I've seen these TV segments, children from these homes come out and say that their home was abusive and their parents were unsupportive and there were too many kids. I do understand how one instance like this is abusive, but not all homes like this are the same.

I don't even think polygamy has to be about kids. If a man wants to have relations with 2 or 3 women and be legally married and live in the same house with all of them, and they are agreeable, than it should be fine.

Simple as that.

End of story.

Any problem with polygamy that comes up is easily solvable but society is just to dumb and lazy to solve it.

Legalize polygamy.

That is all.

Terrible Teachers without Passion, 3 Most Underrated Teaching Techniques and go Jeff Bliss!

I stumbled upon this video this morning: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12ZRuM8UtDA

It is titled "Student Goes off at Teacher for Lack of Commitment in Teaching - Duncanville, Texas".

Essentially a student is leaving/getting kicked out of class and he is yelling at the teacher telling her her job is to get people excited about what they are learning, and not to hand out packages all the time, and to actually do her job.

I feel like this is a no brainer, obviously the student is correct. This teacher should learn how to teach.

So many students just hate school because they find it boring. It is hard to engage an entire class, but it is not impossible. If this teacher is just handing out packages of information, obviously the class isn't going to be excited or engaged. If the teacher even attempted to stand at the front of the room to teach, then maybe she wouldn't even find her own job so boring.

I am tired of all of these teachers who are really shitty. The fresh out of teachers college teachers who just got their BEd because they majored in a subject like English and they have nothing else to do. It drives me nuts. I like the system in Norway- they encourage or insist that teachers have Masters in Education.

The BEd should not take 1 year, it should be at least 2 years.

Of course with experience, these new teachers can improve. But I can tell, if my teacher doesn't like what they are doing, I am not going to like what they are doing. Sometimes teachers will blatantly say they hate that unit or lesson they are teaching.

You need to be passionate about what you are teaching. If you aren't actually passionate about a specific class you are teaching, you need to use your mind to figure out how to make it more exciting.

The other day a teacher told me they hate teaching Civics. MAKE IT EXCITING. It doesn't have to be like "Okay so theres the executive, judicial and legislative branches of government, now take down this note", make it exciting! It's kind of hard to make lessons like that exciting, but make it into a game somehow. Or even when you do teach the more "boring topics", they can be fill in the blanks or notes, but then make something else fun.

I think that teachers need to not be embarrassed and need to step out of their comfort zones as well. Act crazy or silly, the kids love it!

I think that 3 of the most underrated teaching techniques are:
1. Incorporating physical activity into it somehow. Especially when reviewing information before a test or an exam. Honestly, it may be super corny, especially for high school students, but I am in grade 12 and although I'd probably think it was "lame" at first, if you can get everyone involved, it'd be fun. What do I mean by "physical activity"? I mean like obstacle courses where some of the obstacles are questions to do with the material. The other thing is when you are teaching a long boring lesson, ask everybody to stand up and stretch or stand up and do jumping jacks. Or even having a dance party or something stupid. It may be lame, but if you keep doing it repeatedly, eventually everyone will be into it.
2. GO OUTSIDE. A lot of teachers think going outside can be a distraction, but if the weather is nice, the sun will actually help them. If you can incorporate the outdoors into your lesson with metaphors, that would help too. The only way it is a distraction is if there are other classes around doing more interesting things like gym class. Your students aren't going to start chasing birds or sprinting the track... they'll be focused and thankful you left the cement walls of your class.
3. Discussions. I know that discussions happen a lot, but it's not just for grade 11 and 12 students who know what they are talking about. You need to transfer your passion for a topic to your students. If you are talking about a boring topic like the legislative, executive and judicial branches, have them write an opinion statement and then have students share them and start a conversation about it. Creating memories and having activities like discussions and debates will keep everyone involved and help them remember what you are teaching. In classes like math where it is hard to really have class discussions, you need to split people into smaller groups and give them an equation to work on together--- that they don't know how to solve, and they work together to solve it.

You need to let the student figure out things on their own.

With the case of Jeff Bliss and the teacher... well that teacher really does need to learn to teach. Even if that class is something where you need a lot of "textbook" work with worksheets and booklets and packages, you can still make it fun. My individuals and families in a diverse society class in grade 12 had a lot of textbook reading and questions, but discussions can come very easy in that class, I remember the teacher had us do a lot of activities as well.

Teachers need a better education so they can learn how to teach people to learn.

Horoscopes

Lately I've been kind of out of it and running low on blog ideas.

Something on my mind lately has been horoscopes.

I am a scorpio. If you google descriptions of horoscopes, I find that I am very close to the description of scorpio which generally is:
- Secretive
- Emotional
- In need of commitment
- Competitive
- Sensual

I don't know if I necessarily "believe" what my horoscope tells me on a daily basis, but I check it on most days.

Yesterday this was my horoscope that I checked on my app on my phone:

Honestly my horoscope wasn't overly accurate except for the bit about the "lull". Yesterday was pretty stressful because I wanted to work on assignments, but I had work, and then my mom kept distracting me and I didn't get anything done. I also have a bunch of assignments, all of a sudden, and I really don't want to do them. So that was that. I was very emotional, so that bit by the bottom was accurate. I was feeling creative too.

I've been looking at other horoscopes too, for compatibility for friendships and stuff.

I remember that Pisces and Cancer were to of the most compatible for friendships and relationships. One of my best friends is a Cancer, and my dad was a Pisces. 

My mom, 2 of my friends and I are all scorpios. Basically they say that scorpios are good together except the fact they can get competitive a lot.

Other than pisces, cancer and scorpio, I have a few friends that are taurus, sagittarius and capricorn. I also have an Aquarius friend. Most of these have medium compatibility for friendship.

I don't have any virgo, libra or aries friends. 

A psychic once told me I could be a Libra and a Capricorn, and that they are the horoscopes that I am closely like, along with scorpio. 

The weird thing is that I am usually attracted to leo and gemini, which are two of the least compatible signs for scorpio. Leo is usually outgoing and gemini is opposite to scorpio in the way that gemini likes change and scorpio likes stability. 

Weirdness.

I think horoscopes are fun. But I don't believe in them 100%. The descriptions tend to be accurate though.

I think I am kind of like a cross between a Scorpio, Libra and Gemini. Libra and Gemini are air signs which means they think a lot. Scorpio is a water sign which means they are emotional. I am close to being a Libra, because my birthday is October 28, and scorpio starts at October 23, so I am close to earlier in the sign for the birth dates. 

It is interesting I suppose. 

Do you think you're like your horoscope description?

Tattoo in memory of my dad

This is a brief post from my iphone.

When I workout at the gym, sometimes when a set gets difficult I think about my dad and how proud he would be- it usually works to get me through the last few reps.

Sometimes I forget about this technique.

I've never wanted a tattoo to remind me of either of my parents- ever. I think it would be weird. But I wondered if a tattoo that just said "Dad" would help motivate me to workout harder. But I still didn't want "dad" tattooed on.

I then tried to think where I would get a tattoo, if I were to get one. I determined that there are two different parts of my hand I see a lot when working out.


I thought of "dad" "art" "Arthur" but then I decided it had to be a symbol, so I listed things in my mind that reminded me of my dad. I considered a tattoo of a trout, because he loved fishing and it was his favorite fish. I considered a boat, grouse, flower... Then it hit me...

As a kid, we had a maple tree in our backyard, and in the fall, what my dad and I called "keys" and "helicopters" fell from the tree in a spinning motion. We used to wait and try to catch them.

The last letter my dad sent me talked about these helicopters and I think he put one in the card, as well as a sticker image of them.

Tonight I discovered no, they aren't called "keys" they are called Samara and they are the seeds that fall from the tree in the fall.

I still might not get the tattoo, but it is a good idea, I thought. It's a good symbol that represents my dad and I. It's a goo story too.

They look like this: