There must be SOME psychological theory to explain this

I have come to a realization.

The people I consider "close" to me, are not the people I would go to first in a crisis/depressed situation.

I open up best with people that I feel confident with and or I can actually confide in. Which for whatever reason, is not my friends/family.

Recently I really opened up with one adult. Most of my friends know who she is, but she helped me reason with a few things, and make more sense of some of my thoughts.

Also, today I had a small talk with another adult, somebody who made me feel good about myself.

Its always adults, and always adults that aren't close (so family).

But I ask myself, why? Its so weird! Its just, when something bad comes up, my first thought isn't go talk to my friends or mom. Its usually to just keep it in. But when I do let it out, I really do. I never really have had any deep conversations with any of my friends.. the last time was... my birthday or the blacklight dance, which came first? Those are my two initial thoughts. But those deep conversations weren't even about ME, which was fine.

I talk about myself a lot, but I talk mostly random bullshit (not lies, just bullshitting). I don't just, let myself out.

I also find when I do let myself out, I tend to offend somebody SOMEHOW. No matter what. Like if I say "I hate myself sometimes" somebody will be like "SARAH! Some people commit suicide! You can't say that!" or if I say "I am not smart" they will just scoff and say "You are...".

Nobody will let me finish, my family and friends try to REASON with me based on their own opinions.

The people I do talk to let me talk. The person I talked to today, I wouldn't go up to and tell them the situation I am in now because of who they are. But I got something off my chest to that person that I have been bringing up for WEEKS and nobody cares! Nobody will listen to me. They just get annoyed at me bringing it up. But maybe its because I want to talk about it.

By the way, I am NOT talking about a councillor or a psychologist. I am talking about actual people in my life.

But you wanna know something sad? Whenever I have these "deep conversations" I always almost start crying because I am actually having some SUPPORTIVE human contact.

And for family, I can talk to them about anything, but they refuse to reason with me.

I am not complaining about my friends or family though, I love them to pieces! I am just stating I find it weird that I don't like getting overly personal with them and having conversations about issues in my life with them.

I swear... there must be SOME psychological theory that can explain this. I just can't think of any at the moment...