Quiet.

"Sarah, you are so quiet!"
"Why are you quiet?"
"You should talk more."

These are all things I have heard before.

So here I am saying, My name is Sarah and I am quiet. I don't talk a lot.

To answer the people that ask "Why?" I honestly have no idea. I know a lot about who I am and feel like I know myself well, but I have tried to think of all of the possible reasons, there is nothing really from my childhood that could've affected me in a major way, I have never really been told to be quiet. Maybe I am just born quiet, if that is possible.

I tend to observe more. I like to watch conversation happen and tend to form opinions in my head and just not voice them.

The only thing is that being quiet is something that is really hard to be. When you are at a job, you need to be social, at school, you need to be social. I wouldn't consider myself "unsocial" but I know that many do.

I got screwed out of a huge opportunity this year and it was basically because I am too quiet. I wasn't chosen because I am "quiet".

I guess its worse to be quiet then sleeping with every boy in the school. Its worse to be quiet then loud. Its better to voice your opinion and be heckled, then not talk at all.

I have a teacher this semester that has talked to me twice about me being quiet. Its not like she pulled me aside and talked to me about it, but in the two private conversations we have had she has brought it up. I honestly don't know what to say. I feel like this teacher tries to analyze me a lot though, just trying to figure me out. I feel like she knows more about me then any other teacher. But I also feel like she knows the least and is completely clueless.

I used to be self-conscious--- a lot. Which may have been where my "quietness" originated from. But now I am super independent. Its not that I won't talk, its just I usually don't have something to say. If I have to talk, I will. But if it is unnecessary, I just don't.

If I really had to try to trace back my quietness to a certain point in time. It would either be me transitioning from my old hometown to my new town, or from Harry J to Destinations. Those two school switches really took a toll on me. I had to make new friends, where as in Lyndhurst I was friends with people easier, although it may have simply been because I was still a kid.

Honestly, I kind of hope that teacher brings it up again and we have a long talk about it. Maybe she can help me get over it, or maybe has some explanation I have never thought of. I feel somewhat comfortable, and yet awkward with this teacher but I just want to talk to her about stuff. I feel like she would understand.

But really, what is so bad about being quiet?

Although, as I said, I can talk, I can walk up to somebody and ask a question, but a lot of times, I simply like to figure things out on my own too. For example, if I am at a store and I am looking for something, I won't look for a person to tell me, I will look for that thing and if it takes me too long, then I ask.

Screw this.

If somebody asks me "Why are you so quiet?" I will just say "Its a life style choice." or "Thats the way I roll"