What makes me Happy? Day 1: 31 Day blog challenge

This is day one of my 31 day blog challenge. If you don't know what I am doing, click here. I have chosen to do #16 on my list.

Things that Make Me Happy

Happiness is weird. I like happiness. I am not an optimist in any way shape or form and I think that happiness and optimism are separate of each other. Optimism has shown to allow more happiness to come but correlation does not prove causation (am I right psych majors?). Anyways. Happiness is... an experience that is enjoyed. As odd as that definition is I think it is correct. Happiness isn't just a feeling and is certainly not an emotion. It is an experience that is enjoyed. 

Happiness doesn't just brew from positives. Sociopaths might find happiness from things most people find twisted. So happiness can't be associated with whole positives. The positives that happiness can be associated with are the positives that one has from within. So happiness is experience exclusively to the individual. Happiness can be shared between people but it is still experienced differently. Some psychologists might argue that the facial expressions of happiness is one of the most universal. But I also know that the facial expression of happiness is the same across many different emotions like joy, love, success, etc. 

Anyways. Some of the things that make me happy on this list are 

- Being surprised by my fiancé, a call, a gift, a text, a picture, a note, anything except when he hides behind a door and scares me 

- When I find success, through a DIY project, a grade on an essay, cooking a recipe that turns out perfectly

- When I am content. When I am sitting doing nothing, maybe watching something, I can be at my most happiest. I am probably at one of the happiest I can be when I an content, which is not the same for all people

- When I am doing things with friends, sometimes. I don't always like social interaction but doing things with friends can definitely cheer me up

- When my rabbit comes up to me and cuddles with me without me trying to force her

- WHEN NEW EPISODES OF MAD MEN COME OUT LIKE OMG

- When I do my makeup and it turns out well

- Having all of the windows open in the apartment when the weather is beautiful

- Finishing a book

- Going for walks

- Doing things for my fiancé like packing his lunch, doing his laundry, helping him out when he needs me. I can't explain why but it makes me happy to help

- When I am working with one of my favourite coworkers

- That feeling when I leave the gym after a good workout

- Good conversation makes me happy, like a good intellectual conversation in one of my philosophy classes

- Date night with my fiancé/spending time with him

- Finding a new piece of clothing that I really like (I know, such a girl)

- Eating something delicious

- Burning candles

- Listening to ASMR 

- Looking at nature 

I can't really think of many more right now. I'm sure this list could be 1000 things long, but I think I covered the basics. A lot of the things I wrote about are things I enjoy doing that make me content. Which is why I think I am just really happy when I am content. If I am slightly stimulated by activity I can still be happy but if there is too much going on I become unhappy.

I hate articles that are like "Here is how to be happy" because even though those things work for most people, the more simple way to figure out how to be happier is to make your own list. 

Anyways, come back again tomorrow. Hopefully I remember to write again! I'm sure I'll forget one of these days. 

1. A Short Story
2. Things I love and hate about running
3. A Picture I've drawn/created
4. Talk about something on this wikipedia list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unsolved_problems_in_philosophy
5. 20 Things to do before I turn 20
6. What I like and dislike about my City
7. An Obit to my Father 
8. Should there be limits to freedom of expression?
9. How I feel about Hedonism
10. Writing Advice
11. Letters to my future self
12. A Picture of my life every hour (Set a timer on my phone and take a picture every hour of what I am doing, on the hour from wake until sleep)
13. The Advantages and Disadvantages of being a philosophy major
14. Something funny
15. Describe something (My day? My job? I'll decide later) in 5, 50 and 500 words (We'll see how this works out)
16. Things that make me happy
17. Why monogamy and marriage are dead and I am still getting married
18. Why sex is natural
19. Thoughts on Minimalism
20. A response to something ridiculous, whether an article or event, something
21. Map Test: I will try to label 3 maps Canada (where I live), the US (where most of my readers are from) and a world Map. All in order to embarrass myself. 
22. My 5 favourites: TV shows, books, celebrities, comedians, music, food, movies, stores, makeup, clothing styles, drinks
23. A recipe
24. Why I love Nick (a list)
25. My Life (so my followers who don't know me in RL can get a feel of what I do outside of my blog)
26. A thought experiment (What if...?)
27. Why I haven't been caring for the environment AKA Why I am selfish
28. ?
29. ?
30. ?
31. What I learned from this blog challenge

31 Day Blog Challenge List

Here are the rules:
- I have 28 blog topics that I will blog about.
- One topic/day
- I must blog everyday in May (2015)
- In addition to the post I must post 2 photos: one of myself and one of something else (something I did, ate, something memorable, etc). The photo aspect will be more of just a journalling aspect to the blog challenge.
- I have left 3 posts open so if I feel like blogging about something I didn't write about in the moment I can choose to do so.
- The list is not in order, I will pick whichever I wish doing each day.

For the 3 posts left open, I will also take suggestions for blog posts. If there is a topic you want my opinion on or something creative you want me to write, I'll probably do it. If there are no suggestions or no suggestions I feel like writing about, I will leave them open to however I feel.

If a post is linked below, it has been done and you can click to read it :)

1. A Short Story
2. Things I love and hate about running
3. A Picture I've drawn/created
4. Talk about something on this wikipedia list: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unsolved_problems_in_philosophy
5. 20 Things to do before I turn 20
6. What I like and dislike about my City
7. An Obit to my Father 
8. Should there be limits to freedom of expression?
9. How I feel about Hedonism
10. Writing Advice
11. Letters to my future self
12. A Picture of my life every hour (Set a timer on my phone and take a picture every hour of what I am doing, on the hour from wake until sleep)
13. The Advantages and Disadvantages of being a philosophy major
14. Something funny
15. Describe something (My day? My job? I'll decide later) in 5, 50 and 500 words (We'll see how this works out)
16. Things that make me happy
17. Why monogamy and marriage are dead and I am still getting married
18. Why sex is natural
19. Thoughts on Minimalism
20. A response to something ridiculous, whether an article or event, something
21. Map Test: I will try to label 3 maps Canada (where I live), the US (where most of my readers are from) and a world Map. All in order to embarrass myself. 
22. My 5 favourites: TV shows, books, celebrities, comedians, music, food, movies, stores, makeup, clothing styles, drinks
23. A recipe
24. Why I love Nick (a list)
25. My Life (so my followers who don't know me in RL can get a feel of what I do outside of my blog)
26. A thought experiment (What if...?)
27. Why I haven't been caring for the environment AKA Why I am selfish
28. ?
29. ?
30. ?
31. What I learned from this blog challenge

See you May 1st!

Goals and Complaints

Summer 2015. Oh boy, it is here! I consider the summer to be the times in which I am not in school, not when it is shorts weather. I have a habit of creating goals for my breaks, like reading week, winter holidays and especially the summer, so I think I should do that again.

So how do I want to improve my life this time, bitch? Oh fuck. Shit. I hate thinking like this. I hate assuming everything always sucks all of the time and that I have to just stop the sucking... that's what she said...? But I do. I think that everything always sucks. My fiancé and I are quoted saying "Life sucks and then you die" constantly. I find it to be true. My fiancé got a full time job: good! He earns over minimum wage: AWESOME! The government takes about 15-20% of his paycheque to put towards CPP, EI, etc: shit. Shitty shitty shitballs. That fucking sucks that his salary works out to be $10.10/hour once the government steals his shit.

I spent a good 10 minutes convincing him that he can't do anything about it. "You don't vote. You can revoke your residency in Canada but then you have nowhere to live, no benefits, no healthcare, nothing. You can't do anything. Complaining to me won't work because I can't do shit either". It's all true and it is all shit. But maybe I need to stop thinking like this. If you read my blog avidly you can see a theme of depression and hopelessness. I hate hope. More on that on a future blog post, perhaps.

So what the fuck are my goals this summer? What else am I sucking at?

Consumerism. I am the biggest consumer now. I think it is because I am starting to care about the way I look more. I like fashion a lot, and I am getting more and more into makeup. Okay, that's cool, you like fashion and whatnot, but my problem is I started craving brand names. I want RayBans, fucking sue me! I could get $15 sunglasses at Winners or get sunglasses 2/$15 at the mall, but no. I want RayBans. So I need to stop this? At first my summer goal was to earn a lot of money so I could buy everything I wanted.

Of course I have the wedding this summer maybe. I still need to plan it. I think that when I tell people that I am not looking forward to planning my wedding that they think my marriage is going to fail. But I think that the fact that I am annoyed with wedding planning just shows how much that the marriage is about marriage and not about a wedding so it is in fact a good thing. Either way, I'm still planning a wedding for a possible date of September 6th but I didn't say that...

I feel like I should say something inspiring like, but I shouldn't look at my life this way! It is not all negatives! I should look at things as able to be improved, not as shit. I keep saying shit so much because we said it in my one philosophy class all of the time. KAKA. Kaka is shit. Shit shit shit. shit. I say "That's shit" to pretty much everything. I swear like a sailor. I never thought the word cunt would ever be in my vocabulary. Saying fuck is one thing, but now that I just call everyone a cunt I should probably stop, but no.

Back to goals. So what do I want to improve... ew. 

I want money. This goal may not be attainable since I work part-time and I can't find full-time work despite the fact that I have been applying to places since January. I had one interview to be a Barista and I haven't heard back yet, but despite having barista experience, I don't think I will get it. So if I don't get money, I'll have to focus on something else.

I want to lose weight or not lose weight or something. I want to change my body composition. Recently I hit 145lbs which is the most I've ever weighed. I kind of ran my marathon and then gained 15lbs. Whoops! I've already lost 10lbs though. I wanted to hit 125lbs again but I don't know if that will happen. I just want to be happy in a crop top. I want to be able to wear a crop top out without hating my body. So if that means losing the next 10lbs or just improving my body image, who knows!

I want to write more. Maybe a book, maybe my blog.

I want to keep the apartment clean and re-organize it. Nick and I still have 2+ years here. We have 2 years left of our undergrads but he has to make up some courses so he/we could be here another semester which is depressing and I don't want to think about it.

I definitely want to eat healthier. Especially if I am not working more than 20 hours in a week. I have all of the time in the world to go to the market and cut up fresh fruits and veggies and prepare healthy and tasty meals for my fiancé and I. Since he is working I am taking on more of the housewife role. When he was unemployed he was more of a housewife. It just works.

I want to plan the wedding by the end of May. I know it is last minute for a late-summer/early-fall wedding but we aren't getting married at Gatsby's house, we are probably going to get married in a park, so it doesn't require as much time for booking.

So let's actually word these wants into goals:

1. Get a new job. I will do this by job searching online everyday or when I have free time.
2. Continue going to the gym, increase it to 5-6x instead of 4x since I have more time now.
3. If I don't get a job, especially, I will begin writing a book. Probably adult fiction, no lie. If not, I am going to re-design my blog and keep up with it more.
4. I am going to re-organize the apartment, throw out old stuff I don't need/sell it, and make it nicer appearing in general. Maybe buy a couple new things for organization.
5. Eat healthier in general, but don't stop completely. I will be unhappy if I can't drink my beer and eat poutine. I am so fucking Canadian you can't even understand right now.
6. Plan the wedding by May 31st.
ALSO
7. I am running a half-marathon in Ottawa in May. Run it in under 1:55. Right now my half-marathon time is probably 2:10ish... I have a month exactly. Let's see what I can do!

I have said this forever but I also want to start a youtube channel. I have done things a couple of times, like vlogs but they were so boring. I want to do a variety channel with different things, DIY tutorials, makeup tutorials, hauls, vlogs, rants. I am the weirdest combination of stereotypes that my channel will be so confusing.


LASTLY... I will be doing a 31-day blog challenge to keep up with blogging and get back into it, starting May 1st. I am going to come up with 15 topics and leave the other half of the blog to whatever I feel like writing because sometimes I just want to write about what I want to write about.

So stick around.

What size clothes am I?!

I am currently in the middle of writing an essay for my philosophy of sex and love class. Essentially the essay is on how culture shapes our ideas of sex and attraction. I am basically focusing on pornography in this essay so this has been a fun day of research.

I'm going to take a break from writing my essay to write this blog post about my clothing size. What? Why? To show how ridiculous clothing sizes are.

I'll start off with some basic body stats:
I am around 137 pounds right now and 5'7''. I am 19. I am athletic, I run marathons (sometimes) but I also eat crazy unhealthy on occasion.

I swear this post isn't to post selfies of myself or to show off, I am just complaining on the fashion industry and how no two places can agree on clothing sizes. Also, all of these photos were taken within this past year.

I am generally a size 10 pant now, but the majority of my pants are a size 8 and I have some size 6 and size 12 pants as well. Huh.

(Size 6 pants, size small shirts)

I almost always wear a size medium pant but all of my workout pants are about half size small and the other half size medium. All of my pajama bottoms are size large or else they are too small. Shorts generally have to be a size large.

Size medium shorts that are too big, size small shirt

My shirt size is medium, most of the time.

My bra size is usually a 34A but sometimes is a 36A, 32B and 34B. I have some bralets which are a size small and some that are medium. Bathing suit tops are always medium.

Bathing suit bottoms are always large but underwear is always a size medium. What?

Size large bikini bottoms, size large mens shirt? Haha

I fit into most size 8 shoes but running shoes and some flip flops I take a 9 and some flats and boots I need 7 1/2s in.

All of my coats from 4 years ago that were a size small still fit and are not too small but I always buy mediums now.

Size medium shirts, size 8 pants, size 8 shoes.

I am usually a size small in dresses but some I need a medium in. I can still fit into some x-small dresses. Also I am a size 4-6 in dresses.

So what the fuck, fashion industry? I have to take in 3 different sizes of the same pair of jeans into the change room and quite often come out with none of them fitting. My body isn't oddly shaped, I am a normal human with no lump protruding from my calve or one boob 5x bigger than the other. So I don't see the problem?

Anyways. I promise that this summer I am going to be blogging more. I'll probably re-design my blog again. I'll have more well thought out posts. Next week I have 3 essays due, 3 exams and then I have one three page paper due the week after that. Currently I'm still working 12-20 hours a week which is not enough so I am looking for full time work, so especially until I find full-time work, I will have a lot of time to blog.

I'm looking forward to reflecting on my past year at school, new thoughts I've had and maybe some creative pieces! I also plan on blogging more about fitness and my struggles with my body. (How freaking shitty does that sound?).

Anyways, that is all for now.

Those studying for exams, good luck!

Do you have weird experiences with clothing sizes? 

Can one be psychic?

I have been pondering on the idea of being psychic lately.

Is it possible to know the future? Can one predict the future?

I honestly didn't think so for the longest time, and I generally still do not.

See, my mom raised me around the age of 10 that psychic ability is real. She encouraged me to read tea leaves, cards and look into crystal balls. One time I thought I saw the world ending in the crystal ball and I cried for like 20 minutes and refused to look into it. I still don't know if I was pretending or if it was real to this day.

I predicted I would have three children and marry a man named Mark. I want no kids and I am marrying a man named Nick... so....

I don't know. It's all weird. I don't think you can predict the future. I think you can estimate the future based on a person's personality and past actions. But even that estimate is not fact.

Why am I thinking about psychicness? My one philosophy prof is somewhat convinced it might be true and talks about it sometimes. Also, I had a psychic prediction that I would meet someone with a super abstract last name a few years ago, and it is coming true. I am scared of other predictions I had of this person, back when I used to think psychicness was real.

I am such a skeptic that it is impossible for me to determine whether or not it is. Right off the bat I want to say "no" it is not real. But certain experiences I have had make me want to say it is.

I don't want to be biased. I don't know. I am starting to think there might be some small truths, but I will not start rely on psychic predictions at all. I don't even have them anymore. My whole family on my mom's side claims to have them and they almost treat me like a relic because I wrote psychicness off for the longest time. I essentially still do, I am just using my skepticism to re-analyze my assumptions.

It's weird, I haven't had any philosophical thoughts like this in a while. School has taken me away from skepticism. I just assume truths now. It's terrible. I need more ambiguity in my thoughts to be able to think about.

That's why I love running. I am able to just think. I realize what has become important to me when I run. Whatever I think about is the top thing that concerns me.

Thanks for following along my confusing considerations. I should totally re-name my blog "Confusing Considerations" hahaha. That's pretty awesome. But I won't.

I'll try to blog soon,

Sarah

Funny & Cheap Wedding Ideas!

Since I am a bride2be, I decided to take to twitter and share my ideas on how to have a cheap wedding. I decided to share this wisdom with my blog world and hope to become famous enough and publish an entire book on it (I am completely kidding). I just thought these would be some helpful tips!

I should write a wedding advice column on how to save money. "Hide the location so only smart people show up"
— Sarah E.F. (@SarahFloria) March 3, 2015

Provide a small DIY Kraft Dinner kit that acts as both the reception meal & the favour.
— Sarah E.F. (@SarahFloria) March 3, 2015

All groomsmen share one tux and bridesmaids a dress and make special appearances one at a time throughout the day
— Sarah E.F. (@SarahFloria) March 3, 2015

DIY makeup: Do the blindfolded makeup challenge the night before with your bridesmaids and wear it to bed that night & the next day
— Sarah E.F. (@SarahFloria) March 3, 2015

Dine & dash with paying the marriage license fee?
— Sarah E.F. (@SarahFloria) March 3, 2015

Steal flowers from a local park the night before and use the next day for bouquets
— Sarah E.F. (@SarahFloria) March 3, 2015

Submit all bridesmaids & groomsmen for the radio station birthday cake and then put a cake topper of a bride and groom on it
— Sarah E.F. (@SarahFloria) March 3, 2015

Instead of a photographer get married in front of a security camera and break into the security room that night and steal the footage
— Sarah E.F. (@SarahFloria) March 3, 2015

Re-use your prom dress for your wedding
— Sarah E.F. (@SarahFloria) March 3, 2015

If these wedding ideas are too cheap for you I suggest you marry rich unless you're not classy enough than marry a criminal.
— Sarah E.F. (@SarahFloria) March 3, 2015

Let me know in the comments if you use any of these tips or if you would like to book a wedding with me as your wedding planning consultant, good luck because I have still got my own wedding to plan.

Why get married?

In my philosophy of sex and love class we had a discussion about why people get married (specifically should homosexual marriage be legal, the consensus was yes) but of course, the conversation got off track.

As the only person engaged in the class (there were married people but the professor for one reason or another didn't want them to engage in this discussion...), she tended to pick on me to justify it.

I first answered why I wanted to get married based on two things: the first is what everyone expected: "I love him, I see a good future together, I want to have a life partner" yada yada yoo. My second reasoning was half expected, I answered because of politics, essentially. It's easier for tax purposes to be married. The main thing I argued was the fact that I found out once my fiance and I get married, that we will both get $2000 more each/year of educational loan funding from our province's program.

Marriage is encouraged. I am not saying get married because quite often people get married without knowing why. I am just saying that politically it makes sense because that is how we are trained to think.

But I know for a sure fact that a marriage license won't change our relationship too much. At one point I used to see it almost as an insurance policy, that we will not leave each other. It will be harder, since divorces are hard to go through rather than just splitting ways, but I still think that a marriage license is that last little thing there that makes you try a little harder to make it work. Notice how I said not to force it to work.

Anyways. Our professor asked the class "Who here is going to get married someday/ wants to?" Almost all of the men actually raised their hands, except 1.5 guys. Only about 1/3 of the female population of the class raised their hands.

What did I expect in a mostly gender studies major class?

Marriage is not death, but it is also not a really necessary thing to achieve in life. My fiance and I are basically married already, to a degree. We live together and share everything and love each other just as much as we would if we were married.

The second question my professor shot at me, specifically this time, was why I was going to change my last name (only about 3/40 students raised their hand saying they would change their last name). Since she knew I was engaged, she asked why. I again, argued something political. I also argued I am not connected to my dad's name. My last name right now is my dad's name. I don't feel like it's mine. Even though my mom has the same last name, I don't feel like it is mine. A lot of people probably do, but I don't. Honestly, if I could have my last name be anything, I would have my fiance and I both change our last names to something new, but I have no idea what and that is not necessarily an idea I see myself following through on. My fiance said he would hyphenate his name with mine, but I would much rather save us both the extra characteristics by just having once last name, his. It's traditional, but fuck, when am I ever traditional? Let me have this one thing!

I feel like everyone in the class thinks I am the stuffiest person ever for getting married so young, and the people who don't think I am think I am too young to be getting married.

But the thing with marriage is even though my fiance and I see each other being together for the rest of our lives, we recognized that people change and maybe someday we would fall apart. You never know what will happen. But what we do know for sure is that we want to be together and we want to try. My point is that if our relationship lasts 5 years, 2 minutes or 50 years, it will be an experience.

I hate when people see a marriage or any event as a waste of time. No, it was a memory and a learning experience. So your 15 year long marriage fell apart? But the first 12 years were amazing? Just because the last 3 sucked does not mean that the last 12 should be discredited.

That is a huge part of your life!

It's hard, I get it. If my fiance dumped me point blank right now, I would fucking hate him for it. I would be so mad, confused and upset. But I wouldn't think the last few years of our lives were useless.

Whatever.

What do you think of marriage?

I think if marriage was no longer a thing, politically, and all marriage certificates were just discredited and marriage became illegal, that that would be fine. A relationship is a relationship. Sue me for going through the motions and wanting that license.