I got a tattoo!

I got my first tattoo, finally. I have been wanting a tattoo for years now and I finally found the courage to just fucking do it. I hate that it took me so long but I am happy that I have it now.


I feel super stupid blogging about a small tattoo I got, but I just want to talk about it and get it all out of my system.

Here is a picture:

Yep. It says fuck.

I've been wanting that tattoo for a little bit now but always said I would get it after I have gotten a few tattoos. It ended up being my first tattoo because it was the most sure I was of a tattoo out of all of the ones that I want. I also thought it was supposed to be a pretty painless spot, which I was wrong about, apparently. The tattoo artist that did it for me told me after I got it done that it is actually an area that tends to hurt pretty badly.

The pain I felt was only about a 3/10 for pain. It hurt, obviously, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I figured it would feel. Describing the way a tattoo is hard to explain just because it has its own unique feeling, but if I were to try it would go something like this: it feels like having a vibrating needle scraped across your skin except not as bad as you would think that having a needle scraped across your skin would feel. It actually felt a little numb as well.

I don't know. But now I am addicted to the idea of being super tattooed. I just got one little one and now I want all of the tattoos I can possible fit onto my body. I think my next tattoo is going to be on my left arm, kind of like a band below my shoulder muscle.

I suppose I should explain the meaning of "fuck". I kind of have a reason for getting this tattoo but in another even more real way, I don't. I just tell most people I got it because it is funny (true), but I also got it because I needed to do something stupid. My life is so boring, honestly. Also I curse a lot. Also, I did it because I don't care that it is tattooed onto my body in the sense that I believe that life has no purpose or meaning so that the tattoo is actually just pretty insignificant because once I'm dead my body will decompose and the tattoo will be gone. Plus I want to be 80 and just wear a bikini and scare all of the 20 year olds away with my fuck tattoo.

I've had it for a few days and I have mixed feelings about telling people about it. I posted it on instagram and I am obviously blogging about it now, but I didn't want a few people in my life to know about it just because I knew they would judge me. But then I posted it on instagram because I realized that nobody will actually care that much (and they don't).

My opinion on catcalling

I was catcalled 4 times today while on a 15 minute walk to the mall. One guy in a truck yelled "nice ass", the next honked at me, the third guy just gave me a thumbs up while driving by and the last guy winked at me while on his bike.

I like the attention, to a degree. I understand why some women would not want to be catcalled or hit on in public if they don't like the attention, but what gets me is when girls like the attention but act disgusted.

I was talking to my fiancé about this. I told him about the catcalling and said that although it was weird I felt extremely complimented. He agreed how that would make sense.

Earlier this week we were talking about a coworker of his that got over 100 likes on a photo in an hour. She was complaining about how it was all guys and how they were being perverts. She was the one who chose to post the photo on facebook. At least when I am being catcalled, I am not posting it online for someone to review what outfit I was wearing. I am not going to say she is asking for the attention by posting the photo, but by posting a photo, to a degree you are literally taking an image of yourself to show to others. So I don't see why she was angry. In fact, I think she was just bringing up her complaints to others in order to draw more attention to the photo.

I think that if you're hot you should probably just rock it. Although I understand when people don't want the attention. But if you are constantly posting selfies online, especially ones in which you are just in a bikini or something, you are going to get attention.

I am also just confused as to why the likes bothered her, too. The comments were all innocent, no guy was like "Nice ass!" or "Nice tits!" or anything of that nature. She was just upset at all of the likes. What? No. I'm sure if she was really angered about the likes she would've deleted the photo.

Anyways. This is kind of my current pet peeve. My coworker asked what my current pet peeve was the other day and it is when girls obviously are seeking attention and then complain about it.

When I post a photo or wear something revealing, I am probably happy to get attention: no lie. I am honest. Am I trying to get the attention? Not necessarily, but I am welcoming it. I am welcoming the likes I am welcoming the "Nice ass" comments.

Granted, to be safe (because you never know what words will hurt) you should probably refrain from catcalling. You never know, it could ruins someone's day. For me it made me happy, but it could offend some people. So if you see a beautiful ass in public, take a mental note of it and masturbate thinking about it later. It won't fucking hurt her, she will have no idea.

Anyways, that's it for now. What do you think about catcalling?

- Sarah

I'm not an alcoholic: and here's why

People close to me worry about my alcohol habits sometimes. This is a warning sign of alcoholism. Granted, I cannot judge my own alcoholism to a T, but I think I can be objective enough about myself to be honest.

First of all: I have had problems with alcohol. I have been addicted to it. But not when people thought I was. Back when I started university I drank a lot, but that was not alcoholism, that was because it was my first year of university and everybody else was.

My problems with alcohol were not always constant, though. For example, in my first year I was not an alcoholic because I would drink at parties or with friends, I was an alcoholic when I put some whisky in my coffee and drank it during class. Why did I do this? Not even for the alcohol, it was for the thrill, most likely. So am I an alcoholic there? Maybe. To some eyes. Probably.

I have had a series of months where I probably drank everyday and I would call that alcoholism to a degree. But me drinking itself wasn't the problem, it was why I was drinking. I think it would be fine to just drink all of the time just to drink as long as your life isn't suffering because of it. But I was drinking because I was unhappy with life, school, money and more. I wasn't drinking to drown the sorrows, but rather to fuel them. Not on purpose, just because I felt like that was what I should do. Why? Who knows. I was in a weird place.

I think I realized I had a problem after two incidents: I drank by myself, about 6 shots worth of vodka mixed in water and I just doused it with those squirt bottles of flavours so I couldn't taste the vodka. I drank them in one hour and ended up puking. Why? I was bored. The other time was when I actually went through alcohol withdrawal while at work. That was scary, but I don't really want to talk about it more than just saying it happened.


So what did I do? I stopped drinking. That's the thing, no matter how hard I hit the liqueur, I can ALWAYS stop. So am I an alcoholic? Same with cigarettes. No matter how hard I hit them I can just stop when I want. I have a lot of self-control in that sense. But I am afraid maybe if I were to abuse liqueur for like a year or two straight or the longer that I do abuse it the harder it would get to stop.

So am I still an alcoholic? I don't think so. According to Mayo Clinic's symptoms, I am not, I have none of these symptoms. But the scary thing is that I have had all of them at some point. But am I still an alcoholic if I once was? I don't think so. I think some people argue that you would be. But if somebody loses 150lbs are they still fat? No. Even if they still eat cheeseburgers and fries sometimes, they are not suddenly fat again. They have to eat it for a long time to be fat again. That's my logic behind my ability to still drink despite being an ex-alcoholic.

I feel like my answer to my alcoholism to "just stop" once I realized is not enough to satisfy some people. But I think I am just intelligent enough  and I caught it early enough to realize.

But the problem is that since I once was an alcoholic that people still think I am. So I have a drink and people start worrying about me.

Part of the reason why I drink less (and by less I mean like 2-3 drinks once or twice a week versus 4-5 drinks 5 or 6 times a week) is because I have less money to buy alcohol. But I realize the importance of paying the bills and buying food first because I am not an alcoholic.

I feel like I have to prove myself to people. I LOVE alcohol and I am afraid of declaring it because people are going to think I have a problem again. Back to my "Fat person" reference, I feel like if someone who lost a lot of weight posted a photo of a burger on instagram that people might start worrying about them again.

The good thing is that not many people knew how alcoholic I was. So why am I advertising it more publicly? I think it's because I have been wanting to blog about it for a while but I finally feel like I can talk about it and not be ashamed about it or worry more people will start worrying about me for it.

My blog is called liquered up logic (yes, I realize it should be liqueured up logic) because I love alcohol and sometimes it does help me think clearer at certain states of drunkenness in order to do philosophy or enjoy movies or read. But if I get too drunk I can't.

Anyways. I guess if I were to give readers a take-home from this it isn't that I am not an alcoholic anymore, but to just not judge people based on things like that all of the time. Sure, it is a defining characteristic, but it is not their whole person. A fat person isn't just fat, they also have interests, hobbies, jobs, hair colour, skin colour, eye colour, and a favourite fucking colour. I wasn't just an alcoholic but a student, a teenager, etc. Don't let that one thing define the whole person. And for god sakes NEVER call an alcoholic an alcoholic. Let them know your concerns in a way that still allows you to be a fucking decent human being.

That is all.

- Sarah