Okay, seriously now.

I am so inspired right now.

I want to do so many things.

I want to make my Summer Goals NOW.

But I realized "Summer goals" go against half of my goal-like beliefs. Meaning, I constantly preach... or listen to people saying "Do it now, not later". I feel the need to make excuses to say "I have more time in the summer" which is true. But I do have so many other goals to work on right now. I can't overpower myself.

So basically, this is a NEW LIST of MORE FUCKING GOALS, but I will focus on them in the Summer, but work on them now as well.

Most of these goals you have heard before though.

I want to be able to Run 8KM without stopping as I have said before. Which.. I am actually quite close to because I have ran 3 miles (4.82 KM) before. But not on land, on a treadmill. It is so different from one to the other. Technically I am "training" now for it. But I need to get out on the land. On land.. I am not sure how FAR I have jogged/ran, but the longest period of time would've been something like 8 minutes. Yeah, I am pretty sad.

This goal I had last summer, but quit it. Guess which one? To make smoothies. I wanted to discover amazing smoothie recipes. But I quit for 3 reasons:
1) I was too lazy to do the Dishes
2) Smoothies tend to have more Calories.
3) Expensive to buy so many ingrediants
I am not afraid of Calories anymore. Sooooo. Plus I actually did decide to Start a Smoothie shop. I have mentioned it here and there, but look forward to a blog post on it. Although, I actually am I working on a legitimate business plan, which is actually GENIUS (in my brain) and I will not advertise my strategy.. anywhere. Its an amazing idea. So yeah, I will make a lot of smoothies and make a foundation (for the actual purpose of my business).

As I have also said before, I want to be able to bike 3 hours non-stop. I am pretty sure I can already do this though. So what I MIGHT change, is I want to be able to bike to the Sandbanks. Only issue with this is... will my mom let me? But according to google Maps it says it will just take me a little over 2 hours and below 3. So I can do it. Easily. I just wish I didn't have to go alone. I want a friend to come. I want to go to the beach to teach myself swimming again. I mean, I can "Swim" aka float and do nothing, but I want to train to do an Ironman.

Also, I am getting a LEGIT bike soon. Obviously all bikes are legit, but I am getting an expensive bike. I am expecting to spend about $400. I am going shopping for one soon. I was supposed to today but I was too lazy. I can't exactly afford it, but I use it as a method of transportation too, so my mom is going to buy it and I will pay her back by May 10th.

Maybe.

I am in a goofy mood. So I will make a funny blog. That makes fun of myself. But its actually funny.

I am going to take the lyrics of "Call me maybe" by Carly Rae Jepson and change them to represent one thing:
How I act when I first discover a guy I like + how I carry out my relationship with him


I threw a book at the wall,
And then I trip and I fall
I looked to you at the mall
and now I'm in your way

11:11 I made a wish,
for a hug and a kiss
"I am going to achieve this",
this is what I say

I stare and hold it, stare down, below your belt line
sexy, damn you are fine
Where you think you're going, baby?

[Chorus]

Hey, I just stalked you,
and this is creepy,
I want your twitter,
to follow you maybe

I found your facebook,
Should I add you? maybe,
I found your number,
I'm evil, baby

Hey, I just stalked you,
and this is creepy,
I want your twitter,
to follow you maybe

And all the other boys,
they find me creepy,
I got your tumblr,
I creeped your lady

[Verse 2]

I took my time on your wall,
I saw your friends say y'all
I find you looking tall,
I creep it all day

I search, and click and look
deep down in your facebook
I know what it took
and now I know you're gay

I stare and hold it, stare down, below your belt line
sexy, damn you are fine
Where you think you're going, baby??

Hey, I just stalked you,
and this is creepy,
I want your twitter,
to follow you maybe

I found your facebook,
Should I add you? maybe,
I found your number,
I'm evil, baby

Hey, I just stalked you,
and this is creepy,
I want your twitter,
to follow you maybe

And all the other boys,
they find me creepy,
I got your tumblr,
I creeped your lady

When you came in my life
I creeped you so bad
I creeped you so bad
I creeped you so so bad

When you came in my life
I creeped you so bad
You shouldn't know that
I creeped you so, so bad

I can't talk, right,
with you baby,
so I'll ignore you,
I am crazy

Hey, I just stalked you,
and this is creepy,
I want your twitter,
to follow you maybe

I found your facebook,
Should I add you? maybe,
I found your number,
I'm evil, baby

When you came in my life
I creeped you so bad
I creeped you so bad
I creeped you so so bad

When you came in my life
I creeped you so bad
You shouldn't know that

I'll talk to you, maybe.





This is actually legit what I do. Except I actually don't creep in real life or find people's numbers. So yeah. I think its funny. I should perform it... because I can TOTALLY sing.

Goal Update.

Going to do yoga
I am failing. But today at the gym I was able to touch my toes. So thats flexibler (I made that a word...) right?

3. Going to get a car
Okay, so I am not bailing on this goal or anything, I just decided it is not financially in my ideal range right now, so I am not getting a car. I want the money to go on vacation and/or start a small business.

4. Going to study hard.
Uhm. So. Yeee. Erm. Uh.. My grades are high :)


New Things I want to try in 2012:
1. Skiing:
I think I am going to have to do this.... December.

2. Waterskiing.
It is not summer and I am in Canada.

3. Get a massage.
Yeah... haven't done this yet. No plans to.

(removed goal)

5. Stand up comedy
No progress.

6. Yoga
(refer to top)

My Official new Years Resolution:
Drink more water- Meh. I am doing a bit better.
Maintain my weight- Basically.
Be more spontaneous- Yes. that is all
Do well at drivers ed- I need to text rick.

So basically all is well. Sure. Yep yep.

BUUUUT. NEW GOALS:

1. Buy a new bike

2. Buy a new pair of good running shoes

3. Be able to do 30 pushups by the end of the year (continuously)

4. Be able to bike continuously for 3 hours

5. Be able to run 8km continuously by the end of the summer

6. Run a Marathon before I am 21

5

In 5 Years. I will:

Be 21.

I will have accomplished the following things:

- I will have Graduated High School
- I will be in University almost with a BA in Psychology, possibly also a BA in History or Sociology
- I will be a successful business owner
- I will have met the one
- I will have taken my mom on a cruise
- I will have gone to New York City
- I will have Run a Marathon
- I will have taught a few fitness classes
- I will have run/organized an amazing fundraiser

What will you have done?

Life Advice:
Step 1: Put positive attitude towards life
Step 2: Enjoy Life

Hey.

I'm extremely bored as fuuuuuuu.ck.
:)

So I am just going to blog it out. I will try not to write an essay like I have in my last few blogs. Like seriousssllyy? Da fuck.

Okay what is the point when I have nothing to say.

Well. This is awkward.

I just felt like talking about myself or something deep...

I will just find a note and do that. I will make it interesting. You have to read it. Or else I will send out some random people to come get you and kidnap you and bring you to my house.


LISTS :


Describe or list the ways that you’re like your dad. Physical characteristics, personality traits, habits…

- Hairy
- Left handedness. sort of
- Love for Psychology
- Love for Nature

Describe or list the ways that you’re like your mom. Physical characteristics, personality traits, habits…

- Random anger
- Female...
- Like to cook
- Independant

A movie is going to be made of your life. List the major characters and the actors who would play them.

- Mom - Meryl Streep
- Me- Tina Fey (obviously... not like shes 41 or anything)
- Dad- Alec Baldwin
- Sarah - Selena Gomez
- Lauren - Maya Rudolph (because shes brown) ;)
- Kasi- Amy Poehler
- Lucas- Rainn Wilson
- Gytha- Jenna Fischer (for no particular reason)
cast list would be longer but I got lazy


List the top five scariest situations you’ve been in.

- A kid with a hand saw chasing me
- Anything involving a spider
- My dad pulling on my hair + earring
- Almost getting hit by a car
- My dad + mom yelling

List the things that scare you most.

- Spiders + bugs
- Being obese
- Dying young
- Failing School
- Trapped in small spaces

List 3 fears you’ve overcome.

- Falling
- Public Speaking
- uhh.



List words that you would use to describe you.

- Quiet
- Socially Awkward
- Long haired.
- Weird
- Ego
- Smart
- Tall

List the things you collect.

- Rocks
- Fortune cookie fortunes
- Coins

List all the names you love.

- Jade
- Krista
- Spencer
- Ireland
- Vesuvius
- Jake
- Dylan


List your favourite pieces of clothing.

- Tight skirts
- Short dresses (oh god I already sound like a slut)
- Skinny jeans.. jeggings
- Capris
- button up tops
- Blazers
- Heels

List the foods you refused to eat as a child.

- Fish of any kind
- Lamb
- Corned beef
- Any meat with fat on it

List your favourite junk foods.

- Nanimo bars
- Cheesecake
- M&Ms
- Licorice
- ICEFUCKINGCREAM


List your favourite pizza toppings.

- Extra cheese
- tomatoes
- Mushrooms
- Green pepper

List all the places you want to go before you die.

- Florida
- New york
- California
- SCRANTON PA
- Pawnee In.
- England
- Fiji
- Scotland
- Germany
- Italy
- France
- Iceland
- British Columbia
- Poland
- Latvia


List the things you’re anal about.

LOL WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN!?
- Sex.
jk I know it means like.. "bugged"



List the jobs you’re interested in.

- Psychologist
- Smoothie Shop Owner
- Dietition
- Mayor
- Prime Minister
- Teacher

List the last 5 things you bought.

- Shirt from AE
- Blueberries
- Season 1 of that TV show.. whats it called. The one with Melissa Mccarthy?
- Concealer
- Protein Bars


List 5 people who inspire you the most.

- Tina Fey
- Shay Carl
- Kaylie Butler
- Colette Butler
- Teacher.


List the shows you consider must see tv.

- 30 rock
- Pretty little liars
- the office
- parks and rec
-modern family
- whitney

List the people who know the most dirt on you.

-Myself

Have you done anything scandalous/gossip worthy?

- Honestly. Yes. I'm not saying this for attnetion


List your physical features you dislike most.
- Boobs
-Eye brows
- ACNE
- Hairy..ness.
- Feet

List your best features.
- Eyes
- Legs
- Butt
- Hair

List your best subjects in school.

- Social Sciences.


Describe 5 things that have happened to you in the past 5 years that yourself from 5 years ago would be shocked to hear.

- Did a 30 minute seminar
- Got 2 jobs.
- Made friends
- Stopped watching disney
- Took fashion risks

List 5 things you want right now.

- Bike
- My order on Body building . com .
- Things on etsy.com
- New running shoes
- More clothes

IM A HEALTHY MOFO

I'm in a bit of a health kick lately.

Not sure why. I am just obsessed with itttttt. Its basically been "obsessive" since a month after I joined the gym. Before that I worked out about the same amount of hours, but I just feel I push myself 4x harder at the gym. Also, outside of the gym now.

I have certainly taken a bit of a bender. Remember when I used to freak out about gaining weight? Well..

Today I weighed myself. Now. Before I joined the gym I used to want to see 117 on the scale when I stepped on. But it kept raising and raising and was eventually about 120. Then during exams it went up 3.5 pounds. When I joined the gym I lost a a bit of weight. So I was about 118.5-120. At that point I basically stopped caring about how much I weighed because I knew I was at a healthy weight.

But recently I started a new health kick at the gym. I want to gain muscle. Now. I know what you are going to say. "Ew. Girls with muscles are grosssss...."

Uhm. Well. Yeah. I want that. NOT extreme. But. I want to be kinda buff. Let me see if I can find some form of picture.. Okay I can't. But I know that there are some girls at the gym I would be like, I want her arms, her abs, etc. Thats basically what I am working on though, is my arms and abs. My legs are fine. Maybe my inner thighs could use some more strength training.

So now I am gaining weight. Or I want to. But not like fat weight. Muscle weight.

This week I have gained approximately 2.5 pounds in I THINK muscle weight.

I just want to be stronger. I don't even know why. I just want it and now I am going to get it.

But I do know that I am getting stronger.

I know this one back machine I started off at about 100lbsish and now I am at like 135? 165? I forget. It was one of those 2. And with my arms I started with 8lb weights (I'm weaaak) and now I am at 12lbs.

Also, I just tried this one ab excersize I did.. early last summer, that I used to practically cry doing, and it was fairly average yesterdat/today. Parts of it were hard, but others aren't.

But I think the only visible difference so far is slightly in my arms. But its not very big of a difference. Maybe my back.

But as I said, I am not going to look like a huge muscular girl. Maybe a tiny girl you'd see on a fitness magazine. GOTCHA
Like this :


Close to that. Around that. But of course I would look different once I achieve my goals, this is just a basis of what I want to look like.

But here. I will tell you what I do at the gym.

I usually spend 1.5-2.5 hours at the gym.
doing the following:

1hour-1.5 hours of Cardio. i.e. treadmill, this one other thingy that is like an elliptical but its like high knees, the bikes, the elliptical

about 1 hour of various strength and Pilates exercises Including:
Pilates for the arms, abs, butt
Free weights for the arms
Inner and outer thighs on the weight thingers (what the fuck are weight machines called?)
Back with free weights + the machine thinger
This other ab thing that you lay down on

But I mainly do pilates. WHICH I HAVE TALKED ABOUT in a previous blog. Go check that out, Or youtube "pop pilates".

The only thing is I find it hard to do abs at the gym. I don't know why. But my arms and legs are at the best they've ever been, but my abs were better twice before now. But abs are the hardest (in my mind) to maintain. I've never really had "visible" abs. But they have been really rockhard before. But now they aren't.

I feel braggy, awkward about this blog post now. :F Oh well, fuck it.

But anyways. The only downside is that during exams when I gained weight, I thought I might be a larger bra size. Then I started working out. Nope. It was just fat. Now I am sad.

Now. For eating. I have been eating really good lately. I haven't had anything like burgers/fries/onion rings... basically anything severely "fried" in a lloooongg time. I will eat sweets sometimes. BUT OMG there are some protein bars that are like FUCKING CHOCOLATE. They have the calories to show it. But thats okay, because I am not just eating them to eat them, I am eating them for the gym. Although, I don't really eat protein bars high in calorie. I go for ones that usually have about 150-200 calories and about 14-20 grams of protein.

I just realized how confusing this blog post could be o_O. Or how not confusing it could be. Whatever.

But anyways: Protein .. just read this if you want to know about protein and muscle building. http://www.ehow.com/about_5255643_do-protein-supplements-build-muscle.html

But I will tell you something. There are a few things I pay attention to on the Nutrition labels now.

Calories. I always have.
Cholesterol- I forget why I started looking at cholesterol. But I did for some reason, and I am continuing with it.
Protein- Because of that article up there
Fibre- Because of several reasons. It makes you feel full, it helps your digestive system, and more.

But I don't really pay attention to Carbs. Which is another one I should pay attention to. I know carbohydrates has something to do with diabetes... which runs in the family... a lot. But its all Type 2 which means you develop it. I am not in risk of it at all though. I also know Carbs have something to do with storing energy, longevity something like that, because I know people try to load on good carbs before things like marathons.

But I am not a master in any of this.

But besides looking at the label, I basically eat a LOT of fruit. A looottt. I also drink lots of tea. I eat crackers. I eat whatever dinner there is. I eat wraps, salads, icecream, protein bars, granola bars, almonds, whatthefuckingnutiscalled HAZELNUTS, smoothies, vegetables, yogurt, cheese, pickles, peanut butter, cereal, milk, soup, popcorn, coffee, these cookie/cracker things my mom gets. That is literally what I eat now.

Its not even that hard to me. I always feel like I am eating unhealthy at home though. But that is because I eat things in large qualities. I don't even know why. I just eat a loooot. Not today, but a few days ago, do you wanna know what I had for breakfast?
2 oranges
2 kiwis
a bowl of cereal
a cup of tea
crackers

Like what the fuck? That isn't actually that many calories but I just ate so much!

But the REAL reason I feel bad about what I eat is because I binge on one thing I KNOW I shouldn't. Peanut butter. It is my new weakness. I have had WAY too much (this week especially). I will take soda crackers and freaking cover them in peanut butter. And then once I am done I have eaten 500 calories of peanut butter (there are 90 calories... in 1 TABLESPOON) I put practically anywhere between 1/4 to a half of a tablespoon (approx) on each cracker. And then once I get bored of the crackers. I will just START EATING the peanut butter. But at least every tablespoon has 4 protein.

Things like peanuts and peanut butter are high in protein but also high in calories.. which sucks.

The funny thing is. I haven't "restricted" anything from my diet. I know I don't get enough red meat (which isn't that good for you anyways, at least not in high amounts). I do know over a year ago I quit pop drinks. I have probably had 15 since then. Which isn't bad at all. Its still 15 too many, but still, not bad. I didn't quit sugar. I don't quit gluten, milf, HOLEY FUCK MILK NOT MILF, greasy foods. It just happens I eat less. Some greasy foods now just completely gross me out. That doesn't mean that when I pass by a KFC I don't crave the smell of their chicken, but I just can't get myself to eat it, its so unhealthy. Then again, I haven't had KFC in at least 2 years anyways.

Oh. I was reading about milk, and how it actually isn't too good for you (it has to do with it being a cow and not a person). But honestly, I don't care. I thought about switching to soy. Then I tried soy milk. I have learned I hate soy milk, soy protein (unless in a protein bar). I will eat these soy crisps from bulk barn though. They are super crunchy, and taste like dog food, but I oddly like them.

OH A FEW OTHER THINGS.

I want to run a marathon. Not this year, MAYBE next year, but definitely before I am 21. The only problem: I suck at running.

But here is something interesting I discovered today. I found that I run with emphasis on my heels a lot. I bend my legs funny too, which makes me cramp up. I don't think you are supposed to run this way, but I discovered if I use more of the ball of my foot and less of my heels, I can run for a LOT longer. In fact, I can barely run 1.5 miles the regular way, but ran 3 the other way, which maybe is the right way. But nobody told me how to place my feet when running. But I think that the right way is somewhere in between. I think you land in the middle then role to the front. I did this too, which was okay. But its not like I am strictly running on the balls of my feet, I touch with my heels (very lightly) then roll to the front. But yeah. I will figure it out. I should talk to my trainer.

Yeah I just looked at this: http://running.about.com/od/howtorun/tp/runningform.htm

I just need to get off the treadmill and jog on land. With my new technique. Because land I find harder then the treadmill. I have jogged on land before, but I always have to do this walk/jog thing thats annoying. The most I have ever jogged on land was probably 6 minutes, and on the treadmill was probably like 30 minutes.

If you saw my twitter I was thinking of doing a sport too. But I really don't know what. I think rock climbing, boxing, tennis, badminton sound good. But I have no idea how to start doing these now. Most people start sports at a younger age. Somebody tweet me @SarahFloria if you know where or how I can start. Or facebook me if you are my friend. I was looking at a list of sports earlier. I thought that "chess" and "canoeing" shouldn't really be considered sports. They are leisure activities. But whatever, list.

But cycling and weight training are considered sports. AM I AN ATHLETE?!?! Lololol JUST KIDDING.


But here is the question I leave myself to answer?:

Why? Why do all of this?

I think I do this because:
1) I want to be healthy
2) I want to live a long life
3) I am afraid of things like diabetes, osteoporosis, cancer, anemia--- which are all things I was either at risk for (anemia) or runs strongly in the family.
4) I want to look good
5) I want to feel good
6) I want to be stronger... i.e. actually being able to lift things. *cough cough* the extremely full garbage bag at work. (we empty the 2 garbage bags in the store all week and put it in one big one in the storage room that gets taken out every.. thursday) that is FUCKING HEAVY. She said I can split it into smaller bags if I need. But I don't want to D: But for whatever reason we throw out liquids in the garbage. Like soup. I am like.. okay. What the fuck. But whatever.


But I am actually so much happier now its insane. I don't know if I will ever reach my goals, because of my actual body. But I will try fucking hard. My issue is, my arms and abs always appear stronger then they are, because I have thin bones and thin amounts of fat, so the muscle sticks right through... for example. Lets say there are 2 guys. One really big boned guy with thick skin, and one super skinny guy with thin skin. Lets say they work out their abs and arms for 1 hr every day for a month. The skinny guy will most likely look more muscularly defined then the other one. But the other one might actually be stronger.

Its hard to explain. But whatever.

Who cares.

DISCLAIMER:

I do these blog posts more for myself, to define my thoughts, then any other reason. My goal isn't to be like "YO, CHANGE YOUR GOD DAMNED LIFE" and be like "You are doing this, this and this wrong". You can interpret this anyway you like. You are in control of your thoughts and interpretations.

Life Advice: Just do it. I think this has been my life advice about 3 or 4 times now.

I-l-e-s-s-t-h-a-n-t-h-r-e-e-y-o-u

OH MY FUCK.

I think having an XL Timmies Green tea wasn't the best idea I have had at 9pm. I am like hyper now. Like fuuuck. So blogging calms me down, so I will just blog it out.

WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER (I'm rocking out to this song right now).

Okay I seriously just want to dance around. The dance is coming up! I gotta get mahhh fliirrrt on. Yeah right. I actually might grow some lady balls and get a boyfriend this year. Theres a few guys I like now. So I just need to talk to them. One of them is kinda quiet. So maybe I have a chance there. I've talked to him a bit already. So theres advantage >:D. I just need to talk to him more.. about... non-school related things. Sigh. Its so freaking hard and scary. THAT IS WHAT SHE FUCKING SAID. But I don't want to go to university without having had a boyfriend. I don't think I will. But it'd be sad. I mean, I don't care what people think of me, but that is simply something I don't want to have happen. I just am so lonely D:.

GIVE ME A BOY WORLD! PLEASSEEE. HAVE HIM SNEAK IN MY WINDOW. RIGHT NOW.

Anyways. I'll just talk about my weekend now, because I was sorta quiet this weekend on twitter and such. Well, a little more then usual.

So saturday I had work from 9:30-2. It went okay. My boss left me alone for the first time today. It got busy at one point so I was kind of flustered, but everyone was really understanding with me. Then the stupid debit machine reading screwed up. That pissed me off. But my boss said she can get it off the computer. So thats good.
Then I went to the gym. I had one of the best workouts in a while.. it was gooood. I was happy. Then that night... my cousin slept over. So I got to spend some time with her. We read tarot cards and made movies. Twas' good.

Then today I woke up and watched TV and was with my cousin for a bit. Then I went to the psychic expo at the travelodge. I got my fortune read. It was pretty much accurate. Pretty much bang on. It was good. But the amount I paid for it was insane for the length of time it was. But he basically told me how I overthink things, he told me about my palms and aura, and he also read birthdays for 3 other people. I got my mom, cousin and one of my friend's birthdays read. Surprisingly--- bang on. It was actually so weird. But he did predict that somebody maybe a quote on quote "lover" may come along and break me, but it will in the end make me stronger, as he will teach me things I don't know. Hope this is accurate.

Then the rest of today I relaxed, played sims, went for a jog, now I am here.

I had a weird dream last night though.

I dreamt that there was a huge basketball game going on outside on the (muddy and rainy) football field, and I decided to join because I used to play. But when I went to play, I sucked REALLY bad. so this one guy started mocking me. Then later I went to the school dance, which was average until I started dancing with this one other guy, who later got in trouble for dancing with me. Which is weird. But then I left the dance and found him in my room but then he just ran away. The next day I had to clean coffee pots and make them darker (weird) and sell stickers.

Weird dream.

WHOA I was blogging. Weird. Well I got distracted, and now I am back. A lot of my blogs tend to get lengthy. If you are still reading this, I congratulate you.

Okay. Well. I'm going to play some sexual would you rather. I'll be honest.
Okay well I did. I deleted it. You don't need to know that shit..

OKAY WE NEED TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER (friends, not other random people who read my blog)

I can do Weds-Thurs-Fri. Prfereable thurs-fri.
Facebook me.


Life Advice: Find out everyone's weakness.

Just wanted to blog.

I want to write a general update on my life.

So I will just take "aspects of life" (some of them) and write about them.

Family:
Somehow its increasing and decreasing. My mom and I got into a few fights this week. But my mom is just so stressed out. She doesn't understand that she controls her own life and yells at me saying she doesn't. LIKE DA FUCK. But this Saturday I am having a sleepover with my cousin.

Career:
I love my job. I got all of the tips (or many of them) this week. $34. Fuck yea. I love my boss too, shes so funny.

School:
Law is really stupid. Like. I like the class itself. But studying for law is really stupid. And law is stupid. I kinda wish I took IB Business instead of Law now. Ugggh. But... I LOOOVE History and art. English is decent.

Finance:
Well. Since I can't really make Canada a communist country... Finance sucks lately. I want to buy a lot and can't afford it. I want clothes, jewelry, protein powder and random clothes. Yes I said pills. I can change my mind about some things. I also want to buy a new bike. I will hopefully get a nice one before the summer. I be doing HARDCORE training then.

Health and Wellbeing:
Excellent. I am like obsessed with working out. I know that sounds bad, but I love it soo much. MY DOCTOR SAID ITS OKAY HOW MUCH I WORK OUT. But I actually love my body. My mental health is okay.

Recreation: Its okay.
I have actually come to realize how many hobbies I have. Like, I don't go to like.. groups or teams or anything, but I do have a lot of hobbies I have discovered.

Personal:
I feel like I have grown a LOT thanks to one person (Who I am going to write a thank-you note). I mean, ultimately, it is me, but they inspired me.

Friendship: Alike finance, this is lacking. And growing though.. Actually, its not bad as it was 2 weeks ago.

Community:
haha, lol what?

Spiritual:
I've been in tap with my philosophical views a LOT lately (If you have seen my twitter... you may know what I am referring too)


Now I am just going to chat, because I don't want to go to bed D:

Okay. So I have a lot of views, that are not exactly "accepted" by society. I just want to clear up a few things that I have been in arguments with people about.


I am not biased
Bias is basically being influenced without knowledge of the subject. Well see, when I came up with things like anarchy and individualism, I thought of them on my own and then googled and found they were actually an established idealism. I then researched them. I actually came up with these opinions on my own. My mom isn't influencing me, people around me have completely different views then me, etc. I know there are some certain theories and things I still don't UNDERSTAND, but I am not "biased". There is nothing to bias me by. Thats terrible grammar.


I am not "against" feminism per-say
Okay. So I was saying on Women's day or whatever that it is completely unfair for men not to have one. Well. I am not "against" feminist views, but I am definitely not a feminist. I HATE Affirmative Action (which is basically giving power to those who were discriminated in the past, ie, blacks, women, jewish. Not power, but more rights. I swear, if I hear one more thing about Women's day or the Aboriginal scholarships in the Guidance office...

I respect other's opinions
I really do. I guess you just have to trust this. Like, if you read my next one it will help explain down below. But basically, I allow other people's opinions. When I say things and write them on twitter I am not trying to "Sway" other people. But I do want people to know my opinion and hopefully find a way to understand my side of the thing I am stating.

I don't think half of the things in my philosophical views would work in Canada.
I frequently talk of anarchism and communism. I like them. But I would not suddenly want Canada to change to these things. Basically, society hates my views on communism and anarchism. Canadian society, that is. And if suddenly canada was anarchist and communist--- I can almost guarantee hell will break out. Murders, fires, hostages. I can literally picture it. But when I say I like these things, they are more for my own personal alternate society. Like, I see people as animals, and I think that is how they should live. But if there was some new land, and some other people that thought similar to me--- I would be a lot happy then with democracy and capitalism. Money is so stressful, and democracy.. barely gives me a say in anything. Laws and Canadian government are way too corrupt. I think humans are humans, and they should be able to do whatever they want. Animals can.

FOR EXAMPLE: Have you ever seen an animal rape another and get away with it? Yes.? Okay. Humans can't. Have you seen animals not wearing clothes? Humans can't. Its just so stupid to me.



I don't know. JBut what I do know is that I am sleepy. Goodnight

Life Advice: JUST FUCKING DO IT.

IM A WITCH.

I am going to read my cards again. Lololol. PSYCHIC Me. Ye. Riiight. Okay. Well, I did it twice, because I was bored... sooo... the first time around actually SUCKS so I wouldn't waste your time. But the second one I like better.

Lololol right. Okay. I won't use the "tree" form this time with the cards. I'm going to do the "Mandala" form of the cards. Which basically shows the central issue (in 2 cards) and 2 cards show the external and 2 show internal and then 1 card shows the solution for external and 1 for the internal. Okayayyyy. So lets do this shitz.

The Central Issue:
1: Upside Down Page of Swords
Someone who feels incomplete without a cause or who likes to point out how committed and admirable they are by the worthy causes they support. Pushing endurance too far. Tendency to see life as a constant battle

Five of cups
Pain, sorrow, loss. The loss is not terminal. However, something remains as consolation, and recovery will take place. The opportunity ,brought abut by a loss, to alter your life for the better.

External
2. Three of Rods
This is the card of the artist, writer, inventor, dreamer, scientist or visionary. Inspired gifts that need expression. Creative possibilities opening up. Commectign to the different dimensions of existence. A gift, freely given. Talent.

Upside down knight of rods
Wounded, his idealism hardened into a veneer of painful cynicism, this man's gifts are lost in a morass of fear and pain. He may be addicted to drugs or alcohol. If he can forgive himself he will find heeling and in turn will be able to heel

Internal
3. King of Discs
Powerful, ambitious worldly-wise man, probably in a position of authority and wealth. Tends to see things in black and white, sometimes lacking in imaginatoin and subtlety. Enjoys traditional values and practical skills. A good friend, a dangerous enemey.

Ten of Swords (which WONT STOP FREAKING FALLING DOWN, its actually driving me nuts)
External events, war, destruction of a people or the environment. Acceptance, endurance. Voluntary sacrifice in order to change and grow. Personal defeat, self-destructive attitude. The lowest part of a cycle. Possibly an envious collegue or friend.

Solutions:
(the card closest to External)
The emporor
Authority, integrity, focus, willpower, Benevolence. Compassion, stability. Someone with a real temporal influence. Viguor, potency, the ability to command wisely. A keep grasp of practical matters: business, family, money. Patriarchal issues, obedience duty, rights and wrongs, competition, control

The card closest to internal:
The fool
Preparing to leap into the unknown, taking risks. Unexpected and inexplicable occurrences. A new path of destiny. Possibly a warning to take care: pitfalls lie ahead. Time to make major decisions. Paradox; apparent contradictions. Someone who embodies the fool.

This actually tells me nothing really.... Like... I can't put together a story or anything. If I were try to, I would say something like, I have an issue with my philisophical views being different internally and externally, and focusing on internally would be not in my best nature, but my external self knows the world very well and would do just fine sticking with the flow... but even that it doesn't say exactly.


I want to try another layout of the cards I just found. The Six-pointed star. I draw 7 cards. There is a central issue, underlying situation, options, best outcome, future environment, future personal, and what needs to be done.

I am not typing out as much of the definition, because that is boring, but I will REALLY sum it up.

1. The Central Issue
Upsidedown Chariot
Egotism running riot. (OH FUCKING HELL ITS ACCURATE) Try to use my persona to get my way and sway people.My self esteem goes above my spirit. I have techniques of dealing with the world to stop working. No inner substance (HARSHMUCH.)

2. Underlying situation
Four of Swords
Conservation of my strength so I don't waste energy. A hope out of no where. solitude. May change the way I think and will see problems as opportunities.

3. Options
The Moon
Break out of the dark forces of the collective unconscious. Turn old terrors into creative work. Connection with realms of fantastic.

4. Best Outcome
Seven of Swords
A situation that requires a firm resolution. Putting my curiousity to good use. Unseen forces need to be taken into account. A psychological puzzle that requires concentration and dedication to solve it.

5. Future Environment
Six of Cups
Childhood ideals returning. Accepting some aspects of life are over. Letting go of difficult past for future. Gratitude of present. Vision.

6. Future Personal
One of Discs
Ability to manifest ideas into physical reality.A need to base reality on experience, observation, and experience (Alexander Vandertramp anyone?) Seeing what is.

7. What needs to be done
Upside down Hanged man (Wouldn't that be a man standing up covered in ropes?)
Inner conflict. Holding onto past. Superficiality. ACting a part but never being generally connected. Inability to accept reality. Following others. Inability to surrender old habits.


That actually told me something. It is fucking accurate. I'd tell the story, but I think I'll let you piece together the puzzle.

Just once again as a disclaimer- this is all for fun. As I said last time I do this.

Kerplomp. I just felt the need to say that.

Next time my friends and I have a sleepover I should read y'all cards for fun.

1 Last Card for No reason:
OHMYGOD It was the upside down devil .
Oh my god. Its actually positive because its upsidedown.
Paradox: a side of the psyche that is actually a way through to the light. breaking free of old habits of pessimism and negativity by allowing different perceptions.