Saturday, February 8, 2014

Can I call myself a non-conformist?

I used to call myself a non-conformist in high school, yet one of the largest things I claimed to not conform to was high school. I called high school out on all of its bullshit but I stayed and completed my diploma. I did not even want to go to university just because of credentialism and conforming to society's requirements of me. But I am at university.

So now I ask myself, am I even a non-conformist? I kind of dropped this description for myself a while ago.

I don't think it is necessary to declare oneself as practicing a certain philosophy like non-conformity, but I like to be sure of myself. I like to be able to find myself to be easily defined. I don't know. I am precise and weird like that.

So am I a non-conformist?

I am following all of society's conformities but I recognize that I am doing so. The difference between a university student attending university passively because they were told to go and myself is that I made the choice to attend an institution recognized in society as a credible way to get an education.

I do think that most people that are able to recognize the words conformity and non-conformity automatically drift towards non-conformity just because it seems like the more creative... that's not the word I'm looking for... it seems like the more liberal way to go. Not even liberal. It just seems like the choice one should make, I suppose.

Conformity does have its place. Chaos can occur in a non-conformist society but, I don't necessarily fear chaos, although, my character and background do suggest that I do like order. It is nice, but that is because I am in a structured society so I think it is expected.

I don't know. It's a hard call to diagnose myself as a non-conformist. I know that it is weird diction to call this a "diagnosis" but it feels like that is all I am really doing anymore. Trying to find what is wrong with me and what is right. I am just trying to figure out myself, still. I always am.

Whether or not I am a non-conformist is actually pretty irrelevant considering the fact that I consider myself a skeptic. I think. Maybe I am not a skeptic? Any philosopher/skeptic will get that joke. I hope. Please? Come on! That was solid.

Okay now I am just being dorky.

In general I would lean towards saying I am a non-conformist over being a conformist, although I feel like I obviously do not exude the qualities of a non-conformist. I don't refuse to do everything in society but I am aware of conformities in society and have a tendency to avoid them. I think that being a non-conformist is horrible for myself since I am still choosing to live in society. I hate doing assignments and studying in university because I don't think I am learning what I personally want to learn from it. Sure, I am studying subjects I like but I am not studying exactly what I want and not learning what I want either because university is structured learning. What I learn is dictated to me, which I hate. Therefore, my grades have a tendency to suffer since I am not enjoying myself as much and it takes me longer to get around to doing things I don't want to do.

It is not overly crucial for me to analyze whether or not I am a non-conformist, I just thought it was an interesting thought I had and went with it in this blog post. As I said, I just really like figuring myself out. I feel super dorky writing this post because I feel like it was what I blogged about close to a year ago. Not that I was dorkier then (well I was), I just feel like I have moved past a few things in my life and so it feels weird writing this post. I don't know. Here's me, just analyzing and over-analyzing every little detail of what I am writing and my life.

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