To some degree I cannot stop fixating on a series of ideas, mostly around duality. Do I do this or that? I often want two conflicting things at the same time. I desire good and bad. I desire productivity and laziness. There is so much more as well, which is more private.
Duality is really everything. I swear that sometimes I try to think so clearly that I become stuck in this middle place in which I can't make a decision because I see both sides clearly. There are other things that are not so clear, and there are things that are also very clear in one direction, like issues of racism.
I was just in an argument with my mom because she was blaming my inability to get into York University on immigrants and specifically the Chinese who are "forced to overstudy". I am as dumbfounded as you. The program I applied to accepted 200 people, and 2,400 people applied. There was no way I was getting in with those odds.
I clearly see immigrants as human beings. I really don't understand borders. People are people, let them go where they want. We are animals that have given ourselves borders, how pathetic. No other animal has done that. I understand security, and governments wanting to regulate and keep their citizens safe, but at the same time I clearly see immigrants as equal to myself, and don't understand why I can be somewhere that they couldn't, or vice versa. I guess there still is a duality, because I would like to be protected. But I don't think immigrants are specifically to be feared, there is always danger around, citizens cause danger. Anything can happen, so why are we choosing to limit our own species? There is so much knowledge that can be shared between cultures and that can't be done if we keep limiting ourselves.
People have so much fear. My mom just cares about me, and she fears for my future. She projected that fear into whatever she could rationalize other than that I am not the top of the class and going to get in to every school and program, I suppose.
What is the opposite of fear? I've heard the phrase "the opposite of fear is love". Googling just now, the antonyms listed for fear include accept, sustain and tolerate. Fear is important, there is a reason for fear, to warn us of danger. But some fear is unwarranted and holds us back. I think it is important to understand and accept fear as it comes to you, but to then also understand what that fear means. Are you afraid of taking a risk? What is the worst case scenario? Perhaps your body is just trying to warn you of a danger that is not that bad. Rejection is a very big fear we all have that we can't seem to get over. Asking someone on a date, applying to a school, not finding friends, etc., is all something we fear so much which have very minimal consequences. If you try something and someone tells you "no", that in itself is the worst case scenario, right? It shouldn't be so bad. It still feels bad, though. I guess certain circumstances could be different, as well.
I'm so unsure of everything all of the time. I don't fucking know anything. It is pretty hard for myself to accept anything, which is contradictory to the fact that I often just go with the flow. I suppose I just go with the flow because there is not much point to doing anything to the contrary, though I also crave adventure. Do you see my problem? I constantly see duality in everything. I want both sides of every idea. I want city and country life, to be social and to be completely isolated.
At least there is a lot of life to do as much as I can. But at the same time, life is short. (ha).
Duality is really everything. I swear that sometimes I try to think so clearly that I become stuck in this middle place in which I can't make a decision because I see both sides clearly. There are other things that are not so clear, and there are things that are also very clear in one direction, like issues of racism.
I was just in an argument with my mom because she was blaming my inability to get into York University on immigrants and specifically the Chinese who are "forced to overstudy". I am as dumbfounded as you. The program I applied to accepted 200 people, and 2,400 people applied. There was no way I was getting in with those odds.
I clearly see immigrants as human beings. I really don't understand borders. People are people, let them go where they want. We are animals that have given ourselves borders, how pathetic. No other animal has done that. I understand security, and governments wanting to regulate and keep their citizens safe, but at the same time I clearly see immigrants as equal to myself, and don't understand why I can be somewhere that they couldn't, or vice versa. I guess there still is a duality, because I would like to be protected. But I don't think immigrants are specifically to be feared, there is always danger around, citizens cause danger. Anything can happen, so why are we choosing to limit our own species? There is so much knowledge that can be shared between cultures and that can't be done if we keep limiting ourselves.
People have so much fear. My mom just cares about me, and she fears for my future. She projected that fear into whatever she could rationalize other than that I am not the top of the class and going to get in to every school and program, I suppose.
What is the opposite of fear? I've heard the phrase "the opposite of fear is love". Googling just now, the antonyms listed for fear include accept, sustain and tolerate. Fear is important, there is a reason for fear, to warn us of danger. But some fear is unwarranted and holds us back. I think it is important to understand and accept fear as it comes to you, but to then also understand what that fear means. Are you afraid of taking a risk? What is the worst case scenario? Perhaps your body is just trying to warn you of a danger that is not that bad. Rejection is a very big fear we all have that we can't seem to get over. Asking someone on a date, applying to a school, not finding friends, etc., is all something we fear so much which have very minimal consequences. If you try something and someone tells you "no", that in itself is the worst case scenario, right? It shouldn't be so bad. It still feels bad, though. I guess certain circumstances could be different, as well.
I'm so unsure of everything all of the time. I don't fucking know anything. It is pretty hard for myself to accept anything, which is contradictory to the fact that I often just go with the flow. I suppose I just go with the flow because there is not much point to doing anything to the contrary, though I also crave adventure. Do you see my problem? I constantly see duality in everything. I want both sides of every idea. I want city and country life, to be social and to be completely isolated.
At least there is a lot of life to do as much as I can. But at the same time, life is short. (ha).
